My dreams have been incoherent and often disturbing these months. Recently I dreamt of being cut open in a surgery room without anaesthesia, which was quite horrific in itself as I watched in horror, shrieking, as the sick surgeon (who had some Andrew Lloyd Webber song playing in the surgery room, most likely from Phantom of the Opera) prepared to slit me open with the scalpel. I have also dreamt of being tortured, slashed all over with minute knife wounds, strangled, tied up, beaten up...And I have no idea why I'm having these dreams. I must have a dangerously tormented subconscious.
Another disturbing dream where I did not play some sort of lead role was where my cat fell apart. I love Meemee to bits, but to dream of her legs falling off due to some degenerative disease was heartbreaking.
It would be easy to disregard all my dreams as mere nonsense. (I even remember a period when I had amazingly adventure-filled dreams, where I played hero/heroine and took part in all sorts of action-packed dramas, including espionage thrillers, ninja intrigue/wars, rescue missions, monster-killing...*lol* my subconscious must have been rebelling against my mundane/boring life!!!) But circumstances have a way of disarming or unnerving you when you least expect it, you know?
I remember waking up from a relatively serene dream with a clear and distinct message: That I would meet someone of great importance to me, who would make a huge difference in my life, and that this person would be named either "Christopher" or "Michael". This dream stood out from all the rest because I awoke feeling at peace, calm. And faintly amused. I guess the skeptic in me was chuckling.
Well, I met someone less than a month ago, and now we're in love. (He'd be rather happy to read this, I tell you, because I have never been able to tell him how much I feel about and care for him.)
The question remains: whether this is just a wierd coincidence, or some eerie twist of fate? You tell me, my friends. Do our dreams foretell the future?
His name is Daniel Christopher Tolentino.
(Okay, skeptics, go ahead and guffaw.)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Working Versus Striving
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
by Os Hillman
So he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty."
~ Zechariah 4:6
Your greatest obstacle in fulfilling God's purposes in your life is the skills you have acquired to perform well in your work life. One of the great paradoxes in Scripture relates to our need to depend on the Lord; yet at the same time, we're instructed to use the talents and abilities God gives us to accomplish the work He gives us to do. It has been one of the most difficult principles to live out. How do we know that what we achieve is by the power of the Holy Spirit in our life versus our own abilities, and is there a difference?
When we reach a level of excellence and performance in our fields, it actually becomes an obstacle to seeing God's power manifest in our work. What we naturally do well becomes the object of our trust. When this happens, God retreats. You see, God allows us to develop skills, but these must be continually yielded to God's Spirit. There will be times when God will use these skills to accomplish His purposes. There will be other times that God will not use any of our skills just to ensure that we know it is by His power that we can do anything.
It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons for Christian workplace believers. Learning not to act until God shows you to act is a sign of maturity in God. "Do not lean on the natural skill which you have been given. Let God manifest Himself in what you are doing," said a mentor who has learned this balance of skill and walking with God. "You must almost restrain from doing those things you know you are prone to do and actually go against them."
I was learning this lesson recently when I was asked to participate in a large event that would give great exposure and much needed financial increase to my ministry. It made all the sense in the world to participate. Then I prayed with a friend and asked the Lord His mind on it. The Lord showed us this was not His plan for me. I declined the invitation.
Ask God to teach you what it means to walk according to the power of the Holy Spirit in your business life. Develop a listening ear to the small voice inside that wants to direct your efforts by His Spirit.
by Os Hillman
So he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty."
~ Zechariah 4:6
Your greatest obstacle in fulfilling God's purposes in your life is the skills you have acquired to perform well in your work life. One of the great paradoxes in Scripture relates to our need to depend on the Lord; yet at the same time, we're instructed to use the talents and abilities God gives us to accomplish the work He gives us to do. It has been one of the most difficult principles to live out. How do we know that what we achieve is by the power of the Holy Spirit in our life versus our own abilities, and is there a difference?
When we reach a level of excellence and performance in our fields, it actually becomes an obstacle to seeing God's power manifest in our work. What we naturally do well becomes the object of our trust. When this happens, God retreats. You see, God allows us to develop skills, but these must be continually yielded to God's Spirit. There will be times when God will use these skills to accomplish His purposes. There will be other times that God will not use any of our skills just to ensure that we know it is by His power that we can do anything.
It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons for Christian workplace believers. Learning not to act until God shows you to act is a sign of maturity in God. "Do not lean on the natural skill which you have been given. Let God manifest Himself in what you are doing," said a mentor who has learned this balance of skill and walking with God. "You must almost restrain from doing those things you know you are prone to do and actually go against them."
I was learning this lesson recently when I was asked to participate in a large event that would give great exposure and much needed financial increase to my ministry. It made all the sense in the world to participate. Then I prayed with a friend and asked the Lord His mind on it. The Lord showed us this was not His plan for me. I declined the invitation.
Ask God to teach you what it means to walk according to the power of the Holy Spirit in your business life. Develop a listening ear to the small voice inside that wants to direct your efforts by His Spirit.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
a mediocre confession...let the cynics cringe in agony!
Mortality be our doom.
If life does end, and we
lie as carcasses
consumed by the scavengers
Let not the vultures eat
my memory of you.
Anger be our folly.
If strife does destroy this bond,
and my bitterness sour
the pure state of our unity
Let not my hatred taint
my memory of you.
Intellect be my sword, double-edged.
If my mind is lost in the wilderness of reality
and temperance scattered in the storms of mere perception
Let not my madness undo
my memory of you.
Passion be your game, perhaps.
If all the stakes are played to loss,
every dealing hand seeing no hope of redemption -
a futile gamble in volatile circumstances
Let not the heartbreak shatter
my memory of you.
Change is our constant.
Even as I turn blind to the joys and tragedies
that the future may present
I pray for a singular vision of truth.
That in your deepest core
these mere words lie in your memory of me.
If life does end, and we
lie as carcasses
consumed by the scavengers
Let not the vultures eat
my memory of you.
Anger be our folly.
If strife does destroy this bond,
and my bitterness sour
the pure state of our unity
Let not my hatred taint
my memory of you.
Intellect be my sword, double-edged.
If my mind is lost in the wilderness of reality
and temperance scattered in the storms of mere perception
Let not my madness undo
my memory of you.
Passion be your game, perhaps.
If all the stakes are played to loss,
every dealing hand seeing no hope of redemption -
a futile gamble in volatile circumstances
Let not the heartbreak shatter
my memory of you.
Change is our constant.
Even as I turn blind to the joys and tragedies
that the future may present
I pray for a singular vision of truth.
That in your deepest core
these mere words lie in your memory of me.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
DC
This time, I don't even know
what to think.
Perhaps, just perhaps,
I have to acknowledge that it's His doing.
I'll have to stop struggling and cease this
tiresome adversarial standstill
with my pathetic broken heart.
My mind wrestles with the concept
of a resolution
The past
Future
Now
Fear
Doubts
Pain
Desire...
And that sweet duplicity of Defeat.
what to think.
Perhaps, just perhaps,
I have to acknowledge that it's His doing.
I'll have to stop struggling and cease this
tiresome adversarial standstill
with my pathetic broken heart.
My mind wrestles with the concept
of a resolution
The past
Future
Now
Fear
Doubts
Pain
Desire...
And that sweet duplicity of Defeat.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
My Thoughts this fortnight, Listed.
In no particular order:
1. London as a place to live in and work in
2. Hong Kong as a place to work
3. Australia as a place to run away to
4. Pride: What I Really Want to Do VERSUS Integrity: Proving that I Can Do What They Want
5. Lust, Betrayal, Infidelity, Carpe Diem, Passion VERSUS Trust, Truth, Faith, Loyalty, Morality, Mundanity
6. Why do Gemini people cause me so much misery? Or is it just a freakish coincidence?
7. Escape
8. The original/unique self/identity/persona VERSUS the perceived/expected self/identity/persona
9. The Mind VERSUS The Body VERSUS The Soul
10. Switzerland as a place to be born again in
11. Why do Singaporeans hate themselves as a country? Are we just ugly people?
12. Confirmity/Being Homogenous VERSUS Difference/Risk/Rejection/Being Alone
13. Fear
14. God
15. The Heart
16. Being Alive, Living a good/meaningful/fulfilled life, Existing
17. Consciousness/Awareness
18. Feeling
19. Negative Emotions VERSUS Rationalisation
20. The Pursuit of Pleasure, Happiness, Balance
Does all that mean my brain is in overdrive, that I THINK TOO BLOODY MUCH?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Looks like the answer is YES.
1. London as a place to live in and work in
2. Hong Kong as a place to work
3. Australia as a place to run away to
4. Pride: What I Really Want to Do VERSUS Integrity: Proving that I Can Do What They Want
5. Lust, Betrayal, Infidelity, Carpe Diem, Passion VERSUS Trust, Truth, Faith, Loyalty, Morality, Mundanity
6. Why do Gemini people cause me so much misery? Or is it just a freakish coincidence?
7. Escape
8. The original/unique self/identity/persona VERSUS the perceived/expected self/identity/persona
9. The Mind VERSUS The Body VERSUS The Soul
10. Switzerland as a place to be born again in
11. Why do Singaporeans hate themselves as a country? Are we just ugly people?
12. Confirmity/Being Homogenous VERSUS Difference/Risk/Rejection/Being Alone
13. Fear
14. God
15. The Heart
16. Being Alive, Living a good/meaningful/fulfilled life, Existing
17. Consciousness/Awareness
18. Feeling
19. Negative Emotions VERSUS Rationalisation
20. The Pursuit of Pleasure, Happiness, Balance
Does all that mean my brain is in overdrive, that I THINK TOO BLOODY MUCH?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Looks like the answer is YES.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
I Am My Own Greatest Enemy
Everything begins to fade to grey, beyond what can be seen and heard and touched and tasted. As though the meaning in life and in being alive can actually be bleached away, like a simple chemical reaction.
Certain thoughts strike my consciousness suddenly, their sporadic impulse to surface completely outside my jurisdiction. If even I cannot control my own thoughts, then I must indeed be losing my sense of self, or giving in to a subconscious that is threatening to kill me.
Looking back at some stuff I wrote before, I realise that I have once again returned to a damned spot (or perhaps I have never really left it!) And that I am my own captor. How does one break free from oneself?
************
CLAUSTROPHOBIA
I am trapped.
Threading on dust, despair weighing heavy on my back.
The world is closing in on me.
What once were my hopes, the bright vision of my dreams, my future
Those mental images have begun to die
As though I look through a stained screen at them, helpless as they fade.
I will never understand why part of my heart trembles to know how I am falling,
And yet part of me sees with all rationality the righteousness in conformity.
I have walked, trying to take my mind off these troubled thoughts
Of escape, of completely leaving all that I have done these 3 years, more.
As though part of me will never find fulfillment, never find satisfaction in my own deeds.
Why this awareness, this wretched form of rumination?
I will never understand how
I stand in my own way to happiness, to joy
That strange light and darkness that seduces, eludes, and forever enchants
In a spell that cannot be broken
And thus my entanglement tightens, and the depression
Rises and falls in a cycle that bewails its own fate even as
Somewhere within the masochist moans in pleasure…
Certain thoughts strike my consciousness suddenly, their sporadic impulse to surface completely outside my jurisdiction. If even I cannot control my own thoughts, then I must indeed be losing my sense of self, or giving in to a subconscious that is threatening to kill me.
Looking back at some stuff I wrote before, I realise that I have once again returned to a damned spot (or perhaps I have never really left it!) And that I am my own captor. How does one break free from oneself?
************
CLAUSTROPHOBIA
I am trapped.
Threading on dust, despair weighing heavy on my back.
The world is closing in on me.
What once were my hopes, the bright vision of my dreams, my future
Those mental images have begun to die
As though I look through a stained screen at them, helpless as they fade.
I will never understand why part of my heart trembles to know how I am falling,
And yet part of me sees with all rationality the righteousness in conformity.
I have walked, trying to take my mind off these troubled thoughts
Of escape, of completely leaving all that I have done these 3 years, more.
As though part of me will never find fulfillment, never find satisfaction in my own deeds.
Why this awareness, this wretched form of rumination?
I will never understand how
I stand in my own way to happiness, to joy
That strange light and darkness that seduces, eludes, and forever enchants
In a spell that cannot be broken
And thus my entanglement tightens, and the depression
Rises and falls in a cycle that bewails its own fate even as
Somewhere within the masochist moans in pleasure…
Monday, May 16, 2005
Vertigo Attack
Am not thinking straight, and the room is spinning around unpredictably. Waves of dizziness. Brain seems to be whirling around inside my skull. Need to shut eyes, shut the moving walls out.
Sense of balance almost completely disrupted by some shit going on inside my own head, and I have no idea what it is.
Too many scattered thoughts.
Forced to listen to colleague's Cantopop ballads. Too loud, too distracting. Found mould growing on 2-day-old coffee and tea residue in cups left in office conference room over the weekend. Wondering why I am always the one washing up after others in workplaces. Possible retribution for not helping out at home. Microwaved dishwashing sponge and coffee cups in state of paranoia. Hate mould and fungus. To me these growths are like the most base, silently barbaric symbol of putrification. Simple living things, parasitic, prehistoric, impossible to escape from, spawns uncontrollably, waiting to be seen with utmost disgust. Literally looks like cancer of the physical world.
Call me a clean freak, perhaps.
The oppressive grey dankness and sheer lack of cleanliness in this workplace is really making me feel claustrophobic. Even the eerily narrow toilet has been giving us problems of late, spewing water in revolt to mere flushing and causing the drainage outlet on the floor to overflow, vomitting all manner of filth from the sewerage system of this building that looks like it's trapped in a 70's time-warp both from the outside and from within. Dingy is an understatement.
Feel disconnected from a meaningful life, and circumstances certainly feed that realisation.
Seem to be partying too hard with a bunch of folk I don't belong with, getting roped into the lives of persons I shouldn't feel emotionally connected to, knowing bits of information that only confuse my beliefs or values about relationships, love, life, and the future. Truth, youthful idealism, steadfast adherence to Christian virtues, and that basic understanding of what is right and wrong - all seem shaky now. Relativity becomes a justifiable excuse, to escape judgement, to defend behaviour in a lifestyle based on more than just double-standards and morally challenged choices.
Maybe when it all boils down to nothing, money drives economy and sex drives society. We survive on the material rewards for our probably mindless toil, sweating blood for gold, working all our hours away, and seek pleasure just as relentlessly with our fellow humankind when we can find the time to f**k each other. (What an irony, that phrase. Human beings are f**king each other up, down, in all directions wherever, whenever, however, mentally, physically, emotionally, sometimes even spiritually. We have an amazing capacity for being cruel to our own species, do we not? And yet we cannot bear being left alone, for fear of ourselves. So if we do not seek to destroy each other, we will plunge straight into the pit of self-destruction. Yes? Or perhaps I am being way too cynical, underestimating the "milk of human kindness".)
And life passes thus, day by day. Maybe there is nothing else worth living for? Only Carpe Diem, only in the transcient now?
What if one day you are left alone, and looking into yourself being alive, you find nothing more than an automaton, a living robot controlled by the society you live in?
......
I had a major epiphany one morning, rushing into the pathetically vintage building that houses my office. It was as though God had suddenly pressed His finger down on my head, striking my mind with that searing realisation that made my heart stop for a moment.
I have to give this up. I have to QUIT all this and GO. ESCAPE.
And in the end, I repressed that panic-inducing urge and made a conscious choice in an opposite direction: that I would stay for another 6 months to prove myself here, to achieve the results that were expected of me.
Am I a complete fool? Or have I gotten too used to the utterly pathetic habit of denying myself what I want in times of burning desire?
At this point in time I am unable to contemplate the clear answer to this question, probably because the increasing workload and sheer mundanity of this job, nearly completely against the grain of my personal interests, have slowly and surely constructed a veneer of numbness over this time I've spent here. I am tormented, yes, occasionally bursting with frustrated anger, yes, but the numbness acts as a shield preventing it all from raging uncontrolled.
......
A gathering of classmates/school-friends some weeks ago led to a lengthy, humourous, bullshit-filled discussion on sex lives, virginity, and promiscuity. All of a sudden my peers were divulging their preferences (These were mostly guy comments, note: "If you've never had a virgin before, stick to non-virgins, trust me on that." "I'd f**k a guy if I felt he was the right one. A threesome is fine with me as long as it's a hot guy. The girl can watch." "Pulse-optional, man!" "The word Celibacy should be removed from the English Dictionary!") and though I played along to the general discussion, I cannot deny my amazement at the parallels between what they were talking about (they apparently indulged in debauchery, but let's give that the benefit of the doubt for now.) and what I was actually seeing in my older friends' lives.
The vicious cycle churning us inexorably, replicas all, in this societal machine? Yes.
Does being alive entail being somehow drilled into living as pleasure-seeking slaves to an undeniable, rampant urge to f**k each other? Perhaps.
Somehow all these thoughts make me feel less human, and yet I realise my own weaknesses, my ignorance. My idealism, that stuff of dreams that supposedly gives our lives true meaning, seems tainted with a naivete that is now bleeding into cynicism.
Sense of balance almost completely disrupted by some shit going on inside my own head, and I have no idea what it is.
Too many scattered thoughts.
Forced to listen to colleague's Cantopop ballads. Too loud, too distracting. Found mould growing on 2-day-old coffee and tea residue in cups left in office conference room over the weekend. Wondering why I am always the one washing up after others in workplaces. Possible retribution for not helping out at home. Microwaved dishwashing sponge and coffee cups in state of paranoia. Hate mould and fungus. To me these growths are like the most base, silently barbaric symbol of putrification. Simple living things, parasitic, prehistoric, impossible to escape from, spawns uncontrollably, waiting to be seen with utmost disgust. Literally looks like cancer of the physical world.
Call me a clean freak, perhaps.
The oppressive grey dankness and sheer lack of cleanliness in this workplace is really making me feel claustrophobic. Even the eerily narrow toilet has been giving us problems of late, spewing water in revolt to mere flushing and causing the drainage outlet on the floor to overflow, vomitting all manner of filth from the sewerage system of this building that looks like it's trapped in a 70's time-warp both from the outside and from within. Dingy is an understatement.
Feel disconnected from a meaningful life, and circumstances certainly feed that realisation.
Seem to be partying too hard with a bunch of folk I don't belong with, getting roped into the lives of persons I shouldn't feel emotionally connected to, knowing bits of information that only confuse my beliefs or values about relationships, love, life, and the future. Truth, youthful idealism, steadfast adherence to Christian virtues, and that basic understanding of what is right and wrong - all seem shaky now. Relativity becomes a justifiable excuse, to escape judgement, to defend behaviour in a lifestyle based on more than just double-standards and morally challenged choices.
Maybe when it all boils down to nothing, money drives economy and sex drives society. We survive on the material rewards for our probably mindless toil, sweating blood for gold, working all our hours away, and seek pleasure just as relentlessly with our fellow humankind when we can find the time to f**k each other. (What an irony, that phrase. Human beings are f**king each other up, down, in all directions wherever, whenever, however, mentally, physically, emotionally, sometimes even spiritually. We have an amazing capacity for being cruel to our own species, do we not? And yet we cannot bear being left alone, for fear of ourselves. So if we do not seek to destroy each other, we will plunge straight into the pit of self-destruction. Yes? Or perhaps I am being way too cynical, underestimating the "milk of human kindness".)
And life passes thus, day by day. Maybe there is nothing else worth living for? Only Carpe Diem, only in the transcient now?
What if one day you are left alone, and looking into yourself being alive, you find nothing more than an automaton, a living robot controlled by the society you live in?
......
I had a major epiphany one morning, rushing into the pathetically vintage building that houses my office. It was as though God had suddenly pressed His finger down on my head, striking my mind with that searing realisation that made my heart stop for a moment.
I have to give this up. I have to QUIT all this and GO. ESCAPE.
And in the end, I repressed that panic-inducing urge and made a conscious choice in an opposite direction: that I would stay for another 6 months to prove myself here, to achieve the results that were expected of me.
Am I a complete fool? Or have I gotten too used to the utterly pathetic habit of denying myself what I want in times of burning desire?
At this point in time I am unable to contemplate the clear answer to this question, probably because the increasing workload and sheer mundanity of this job, nearly completely against the grain of my personal interests, have slowly and surely constructed a veneer of numbness over this time I've spent here. I am tormented, yes, occasionally bursting with frustrated anger, yes, but the numbness acts as a shield preventing it all from raging uncontrolled.
......
A gathering of classmates/school-friends some weeks ago led to a lengthy, humourous, bullshit-filled discussion on sex lives, virginity, and promiscuity. All of a sudden my peers were divulging their preferences (These were mostly guy comments, note: "If you've never had a virgin before, stick to non-virgins, trust me on that." "I'd f**k a guy if I felt he was the right one. A threesome is fine with me as long as it's a hot guy. The girl can watch." "Pulse-optional, man!" "The word Celibacy should be removed from the English Dictionary!") and though I played along to the general discussion, I cannot deny my amazement at the parallels between what they were talking about (they apparently indulged in debauchery, but let's give that the benefit of the doubt for now.) and what I was actually seeing in my older friends' lives.
The vicious cycle churning us inexorably, replicas all, in this societal machine? Yes.
Does being alive entail being somehow drilled into living as pleasure-seeking slaves to an undeniable, rampant urge to f**k each other? Perhaps.
Somehow all these thoughts make me feel less human, and yet I realise my own weaknesses, my ignorance. My idealism, that stuff of dreams that supposedly gives our lives true meaning, seems tainted with a naivete that is now bleeding into cynicism.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Impossible Tasks
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
by Os Hillman
But He answered, "You give them something to eat." ~ Mark 6:37a
Has anyone ever asked you to do something that seems totally ridiculous? The very suggestion of their instruction may have brought laughter or even anger for proposing the idea.
I imagine that the disciples may have felt this way when Jesus responded with this comment when they asked him how they were going to feed the 5000, who had stayed around to hear him speak. The disciples suggested a logical answer to the problem, "Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat" (Mk 6:36).
That wasn't the answer Jesus wanted. He saw the need of the people. He had compassion on them. He wanted to solve the problem with a Kingdom response, not logic. He asked them what they had in their hand.
So often what we already have in our hand is what Jesus wants us to use to solve our problems. We must add faith to what we already have in our hand. Then we will see the gospel of the Kingdom manifested to solve problems in a supernatural way. Jesus wanted to meet a need in which God would receive the glory. Sending the people away did not meet the need, nor did it bring glory to the Father.
Do not settle for the gospel of salvation only. Jesus came that we might experience the gospel of the Kingdom in its fullest sense. Our job is to look past our logical reasoning and see how God might want to solve our problem in a supernatural way.
by Os Hillman
But He answered, "You give them something to eat." ~ Mark 6:37a
Has anyone ever asked you to do something that seems totally ridiculous? The very suggestion of their instruction may have brought laughter or even anger for proposing the idea.
I imagine that the disciples may have felt this way when Jesus responded with this comment when they asked him how they were going to feed the 5000, who had stayed around to hear him speak. The disciples suggested a logical answer to the problem, "Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat" (Mk 6:36).
That wasn't the answer Jesus wanted. He saw the need of the people. He had compassion on them. He wanted to solve the problem with a Kingdom response, not logic. He asked them what they had in their hand.
So often what we already have in our hand is what Jesus wants us to use to solve our problems. We must add faith to what we already have in our hand. Then we will see the gospel of the Kingdom manifested to solve problems in a supernatural way. Jesus wanted to meet a need in which God would receive the glory. Sending the people away did not meet the need, nor did it bring glory to the Father.
Do not settle for the gospel of salvation only. Jesus came that we might experience the gospel of the Kingdom in its fullest sense. Our job is to look past our logical reasoning and see how God might want to solve our problem in a supernatural way.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Another night of Insanity & Revelry
Lost myself in the music. Was utterly drunk on the rhythms and moving my body madly madly madly to absorb and reflect the sound waves.
Seduction can be so easy. I don't have those restraint mechanisms built into me, prickling my self-consciousness, making me embarrassed, preventing me from enjoying the joy of the moment. In these moments, I throw aside that demon of repression. The limbs flow of their own accord, and the spirit can savour this exhilarating height of physical freedom, if only for a few minutes...until the mesmerisation of the song that completely envelops this crowd, pumping high-octane energy into frenzied bodies, fades into the buzzing silence of the humid night. Then the ears begin to ring.
It would have been pure fun had we felt safe. But we did not. My mind watched and sounded alarm bells every time one of them moved too close for comfort, demanding intimacy, lusting for unwarranted closeness. Beware the wolves in sheeps' clothing. Get away. Be on your guard.
My smile can freeze on my face and you can think or assume that I condone your actions. I may laugh it off but I will not forget your transgressions, even if I keep an open mind. There is a limit to my tolerance level for such jest. But how do I tell you that without you taking it as just another f**king joke?!
I regret placing my friend in such risk, regret trusting too freely in the integrity of persons too unfamiliar. Gentlemen or Bastards? It is all grey, grey, grey.
Never again. The game is over.
All these little incidents sour the gorgeous experience, waste the purity of the play. The night was dead even before it began being alive.
Alas for the intensity of life.
Seduction can be so easy. I don't have those restraint mechanisms built into me, prickling my self-consciousness, making me embarrassed, preventing me from enjoying the joy of the moment. In these moments, I throw aside that demon of repression. The limbs flow of their own accord, and the spirit can savour this exhilarating height of physical freedom, if only for a few minutes...until the mesmerisation of the song that completely envelops this crowd, pumping high-octane energy into frenzied bodies, fades into the buzzing silence of the humid night. Then the ears begin to ring.
It would have been pure fun had we felt safe. But we did not. My mind watched and sounded alarm bells every time one of them moved too close for comfort, demanding intimacy, lusting for unwarranted closeness. Beware the wolves in sheeps' clothing. Get away. Be on your guard.
My smile can freeze on my face and you can think or assume that I condone your actions. I may laugh it off but I will not forget your transgressions, even if I keep an open mind. There is a limit to my tolerance level for such jest. But how do I tell you that without you taking it as just another f**king joke?!
I regret placing my friend in such risk, regret trusting too freely in the integrity of persons too unfamiliar. Gentlemen or Bastards? It is all grey, grey, grey.
Never again. The game is over.
All these little incidents sour the gorgeous experience, waste the purity of the play. The night was dead even before it began being alive.
Alas for the intensity of life.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Another Salad Recipe! (of my own invention ;P)
Okay, this is the first time I whipped up a salad from scratch, without relying on dressing-from-the-bottle. Give it a try and see if you get the runs...*evil laughter*
Heh, will let you know if I can manage to poison myself this time...
Anyway...
Ingredients for Salad (makes for 1 big-eater or 2 decent servings):
Ingredients for Dressing:
Heh, will let you know if I can manage to poison myself this time...
Anyway...
Ingredients for Salad (makes for 1 big-eater or 2 decent servings):
- Cherry Tomatoes (one box, which makes about 2 cups, I think)
- 1 Veal Bratwurst (as in one fat German sausage, otherwise canned cocktail sausages should be fine, though probably much saltier. You may want to use picnic ham, or maybe broiled chicken breast...vegans can use tofu...it really depends on what you think will work and what you like.)
- One Small Apple (get the super crunchy kind)
- Sweet Corn Kernals (about one to 2 cups depending on your appetite. I like Wattie's Super Sweet, the frozen kind)
- Cashews/Walnuts/Sunflower Seeds (these are optional, but about half a cup will perfect the salad, absolutely.)
Ingredients for Dressing:
- 1 Orange
- 5 teaspoons vinegar (erm, I used white vinegar, though I think apple cider vinegar should taste better)
- Pinch of salt
- Pinch of sugar
- Pinch of pepper
- Soft Cheese (I used one segment of The Laughing Cow Cheese, though I think Philly would do as well)
For the Salad:
Chop Everything bigger than the Corn Kernals into similar bite-sized chunks. (If you really want to measure the chunks, they should range from 1 to 2 cm square. As in small enough to fit comfortably inside your mouth. Whatever the size of your mouth...errr...what nonsense am I going into???)
To prevent the Apple Chunks from going brown, give them a salt-water dip. (Just a generous pinch of salt dissolved in a bowl of water.) I know, it kills the vitamins and all, but oxidised apple pieces are kind of unsightly in your dish. Unless, of course, you like oxidised apple.
Because the Veal Bratwurst and Corn Kernals were frozen food, I had to defrost and cook them beforehand. And because I didn't plan this whole recipe beforehand, (rather, it just struck me when I was, erm, in the shower/loo) I had no time to wait for them to cool down. So after I removed them from the microwave (awww, what a convenience, ain't it?), all hot and steamy, I dunked them into icy water to immediately cool them down. Which may be cheating or unhealthy, I'm not sure. But it sure hurts your fingers. (Yeeaaahhhooowwwccchhh!!!) So be careful if you like using your hands to do stuff like mixing food in the kitchen. (Nice clean hands, of course...please don't like pick your nose beforehand and not wash up before cooking. o_O)
The point is, try not to mix the very hot food and the cool food together immediately. If you dunk all the hot and steamy sausage and corn bits into the nice and cool cherry tomato and apple mix, you'll end up cooking the nice crunchy tomatoes and apple bits, and they'll end up kinda disappointing in the end. (I'm not sure about you, but I like crunchy bits in my salad. If you prefer a softer chewing experience, feel free to cook everything beforehand. Or mix hot and cold, or whatever.)
When Everything is about the same temperature, toss them all together. They'll look really nice mixed up.
For the Dressing:
Cut up the orange and squeeze all the juice out into a bowl, then tear up the remaining pulp and dump it all in too. (You may not want the pulp in, but I like the additional fibre.)
Mix in the vinegar, salt, sugar, pepper, and cheese. Stir well.
Then just toss the Dressing into the Salad and do one final toss to mix everything up properly. (Because the pulpy orange bits tend to clump together, you need to mix well to make sure the dressing is evenly distributed. Otherwise it's just not fair for the poor salad bits who have no chance to get in touch with the dressing, you know?
Then refrigerate until ready to serve. Try to consume within the next, err...day? Unless it's kept in the fridge (i.e. constant cool temperature) all the time, food like this tends to go bad pretty quick. (I dumped mine in the chiller compartment overnight, though, for tomorrow's brunch.)
Add the nuts and give another toss before you chow down.
Enjoy and pray you don't get the runs! XP
Monday, April 25, 2005
Adobe to buy Macromedia for $3.4 billion
Desktop publishing specialist Adobe Systems is buying multimedia applications maker Macromedia in a $3.4 billion deal geared toward building a software powerhouse. The all-stock deal, announced Monday, is designed to create a better-stocked source of tools for building and distributing multimedia content across a range of operating systems and devices, the companies said. They also stressed that the merger will enable them to expand more rapidly into the market for audio and video applications for handhelds and other gadgets.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Surreal Insanity in a Karaoke Room
Okay...I am going to very slowly ease into telling this tale of hilariously horrific bonkeration. (i.e. a situation where everyone goes bonkers.)
Salute to Tiger Beer for inducing insanity in IT-industry folk (yes, my friends, group madness in ENGINEERS) who can actually attain a state of "enlightenment" which a pathetically sober little girl like me can barely comprehend, much less look.
Butt-wriggling/ass-wagging engineers waving mineral water bottles in tune to Cantopop in K-BOX, anyone? Have the whole package free of charge!!! Shut out the horror by drinking yourself senseless!
(They have revolutionised the concept of gyration forever. Trust engineers to innovate on mechanics like that.)
"In Tiger Nation, we work smart and play hard." How very true. Don't you love how advertising is a hyper-real parody of life, probably even a blatant mockery?
The most unfortunate fact: I HATE BEER.
Anyway, I digress.
I highly recommend The 1NiteStand Comedy Club at Clarke Quay to anyone who loves live bands.
http://www.the1nitestand.com/
The 5 piece (or is it 6?) band that plays in this comedy club - they are AWESOME! The male lead singer (tall, showy guy with a very long mane tied into a sexy horsetail, shampoo-ad material) manages to sound like Enrique Iglesias, Eric Clapton, Ricky Martin, and more rolled into one effortless voice. And the female lead singer sounds like Shakira! Everything they gave us sounded so good.
Too bad we left before they brought the house onto the dance floor.
The crowd has just so...dank and uninspired. Dressed to impress but standing around nervously clutching their drinks, networking (okay, that's a dangerous action I too am guilty of)...
I think I saw a whole lot of long-haired babes dressed in glittery little bare-back tops, just looking on - is that like party-dress code? Or is it a uniform that attracts the ang-mohs?
Maybe Singaporeans just need to get bloody pissed drunk (or pop some pills) before they can throw away their inhibitions and just go dance. We're not comfortable enough in our own skins to physically salute the glorious rhythms of beautiful music.
Maybe the dance floor was too brightly lit. Took a whole lot of guts for the 4 of us (freshly networked and acquainted) to get out there and do a little boogie (it was fun though). It got rather embarrassing after a while since no one else from that frozen, stagnant crowd joined in. As though we were being exhibitionists. Sad sad sad. Imagine being stared at by a large roomful of cold, impassive people, while you're trying to initiate a fun group activity. *shudder* So much for courage and wanting to have fun dancing to awesome music. In the end the pressure to just slink back into the darkness was way too great. Join the crowd! Conform!!!
Maybe everyone was just so tired, you know? The hot and humid weather and work, work, work just saps all the perk and energy out of us. After a long day you just wanna sit down and chill out, a long cool dame in your hand. Yeah right.
Urgh.
Anyway, proceeded to K-Box at Cineleisure with someone who now claims brotherhood status with me. (My eyebrow is raised.) Perhaps I have not met that many people in my short life so far, but I have never met someone who induces murderous tendencies while cracking dirty jokes. (I was a captive audience, really!) Are Singaporean Engineers (married or otherwise) that sexually deprived that they have to insert sexual innuendo into every other line they spout?
Okay, I can laugh it off, but before long it was beginning to look like he (and later his colleague too) was/were taking every opportunity to make bawdy remarks targetted at me. Tiger-beer-induced sexual passes, anyone? Invitations to lap-dances and one-night stands? (Actually, on hindsight, it was hilarious. If only I were gay and male. It would have been such a turn-on. Unfortunately, I am female and not straight enough. Geez of all the bad luck in the world...)
Do I look like a sex object?! Don't the spectacles fend them off?! I'm not sure whether to be more flattered or just disgusted. Time to stay home and lock the doors...Morph into Miss Prudent Paranoid Prig!!!
Okay...so far, sober me continuously fell prey to tainted jokes. On a light-hearted note, it was much like Whose Line Is it Anyway, starring a trio of horny Engineers whose victim dearly regretted not being underage. (Can I still sue?)
The climax (yeah yeah yeah the word is tinted with such sexual innuendo, ain't it?) of the night came, of course, with the
Mass Gyration Dance With Mineral Water Bottles, Performed by Engineers.
And here's my performance review:
It was a technically simplistic performance riddled with multiple meanings. Although apparently an expression of alcohol-induced gaiety, it harkened to a regression to the carefree days of childhood, where everything can be made into a toy. The overtones, however, were of a remarkably explosive reaction to the stresses of everyday life and a mundane existence in a sexually deprived society. Despite the inconsistencies in the relative physical flexibility(or inflexibility) in individual performers, the dance ended on a high note and led to more optimistic imbibing of Tiger, which must be credited for its contribution to this dance event.
The reviewer sums it up with 2 words: Traumatic Experience. The word "Extremely" is optional but recommended.
Alright, alright, enough with my uptight whinging.
I shouldn't be such a bloody prude. Overall it was a heck of a lot of fun and I provided a bucketload (or 2) of entertainment (unintended and embarrassing on my part, mostly) to a bunch of people I barely knew. Hmmmm. If I cannot get anywhere in life where I want to, I may just go become a clown. Cirque Du Soleil!!!
Now I've unwittingly earned myself a "brother" (married with 2 sons too). Bother! What do I do with him?! Chivalry may be his only redeeming trait...the rest, unspeakable. (Oh...how harsh of me! *evil sarcastic laughter*)
Concluding Question: Do men who want to be close to women they cannot have convert themselves into "brothers" of said women as a tactic of furthering intimacy?
Argh.
Salute to Tiger Beer for inducing insanity in IT-industry folk (yes, my friends, group madness in ENGINEERS) who can actually attain a state of "enlightenment" which a pathetically sober little girl like me can barely comprehend, much less look.
Butt-wriggling/ass-wagging engineers waving mineral water bottles in tune to Cantopop in K-BOX, anyone? Have the whole package free of charge!!! Shut out the horror by drinking yourself senseless!
(They have revolutionised the concept of gyration forever. Trust engineers to innovate on mechanics like that.)
"In Tiger Nation, we work smart and play hard." How very true. Don't you love how advertising is a hyper-real parody of life, probably even a blatant mockery?
The most unfortunate fact: I HATE BEER.
Anyway, I digress.
I highly recommend The 1NiteStand Comedy Club at Clarke Quay to anyone who loves live bands.
http://www.the1nitestand.com/
The 5 piece (or is it 6?) band that plays in this comedy club - they are AWESOME! The male lead singer (tall, showy guy with a very long mane tied into a sexy horsetail, shampoo-ad material) manages to sound like Enrique Iglesias, Eric Clapton, Ricky Martin, and more rolled into one effortless voice. And the female lead singer sounds like Shakira! Everything they gave us sounded so good.
Too bad we left before they brought the house onto the dance floor.
The crowd has just so...dank and uninspired. Dressed to impress but standing around nervously clutching their drinks, networking (okay, that's a dangerous action I too am guilty of)...
I think I saw a whole lot of long-haired babes dressed in glittery little bare-back tops, just looking on - is that like party-dress code? Or is it a uniform that attracts the ang-mohs?
Maybe Singaporeans just need to get bloody pissed drunk (or pop some pills) before they can throw away their inhibitions and just go dance. We're not comfortable enough in our own skins to physically salute the glorious rhythms of beautiful music.
Maybe the dance floor was too brightly lit. Took a whole lot of guts for the 4 of us (freshly networked and acquainted) to get out there and do a little boogie (it was fun though). It got rather embarrassing after a while since no one else from that frozen, stagnant crowd joined in. As though we were being exhibitionists. Sad sad sad. Imagine being stared at by a large roomful of cold, impassive people, while you're trying to initiate a fun group activity. *shudder* So much for courage and wanting to have fun dancing to awesome music. In the end the pressure to just slink back into the darkness was way too great. Join the crowd! Conform!!!
Maybe everyone was just so tired, you know? The hot and humid weather and work, work, work just saps all the perk and energy out of us. After a long day you just wanna sit down and chill out, a long cool dame in your hand. Yeah right.
Urgh.
Anyway, proceeded to K-Box at Cineleisure with someone who now claims brotherhood status with me. (My eyebrow is raised.) Perhaps I have not met that many people in my short life so far, but I have never met someone who induces murderous tendencies while cracking dirty jokes. (I was a captive audience, really!) Are Singaporean Engineers (married or otherwise) that sexually deprived that they have to insert sexual innuendo into every other line they spout?
Okay, I can laugh it off, but before long it was beginning to look like he (and later his colleague too) was/were taking every opportunity to make bawdy remarks targetted at me. Tiger-beer-induced sexual passes, anyone? Invitations to lap-dances and one-night stands? (Actually, on hindsight, it was hilarious. If only I were gay and male. It would have been such a turn-on. Unfortunately, I am female and not straight enough. Geez of all the bad luck in the world...)
Do I look like a sex object?! Don't the spectacles fend them off?! I'm not sure whether to be more flattered or just disgusted. Time to stay home and lock the doors...Morph into Miss Prudent Paranoid Prig!!!
Okay...so far, sober me continuously fell prey to tainted jokes. On a light-hearted note, it was much like Whose Line Is it Anyway, starring a trio of horny Engineers whose victim dearly regretted not being underage. (Can I still sue?)
The climax (yeah yeah yeah the word is tinted with such sexual innuendo, ain't it?) of the night came, of course, with the
Mass Gyration Dance With Mineral Water Bottles, Performed by Engineers.
And here's my performance review:
It was a technically simplistic performance riddled with multiple meanings. Although apparently an expression of alcohol-induced gaiety, it harkened to a regression to the carefree days of childhood, where everything can be made into a toy. The overtones, however, were of a remarkably explosive reaction to the stresses of everyday life and a mundane existence in a sexually deprived society. Despite the inconsistencies in the relative physical flexibility(or inflexibility) in individual performers, the dance ended on a high note and led to more optimistic imbibing of Tiger, which must be credited for its contribution to this dance event.
The reviewer sums it up with 2 words: Traumatic Experience. The word "Extremely" is optional but recommended.
Alright, alright, enough with my uptight whinging.
I shouldn't be such a bloody prude. Overall it was a heck of a lot of fun and I provided a bucketload (or 2) of entertainment (unintended and embarrassing on my part, mostly) to a bunch of people I barely knew. Hmmmm. If I cannot get anywhere in life where I want to, I may just go become a clown. Cirque Du Soleil!!!
Now I've unwittingly earned myself a "brother" (married with 2 sons too). Bother! What do I do with him?! Chivalry may be his only redeeming trait...the rest, unspeakable. (Oh...how harsh of me! *evil sarcastic laughter*)
Concluding Question: Do men who want to be close to women they cannot have convert themselves into "brothers" of said women as a tactic of furthering intimacy?
Argh.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY!!!
Arguably the best fantasy/sci-fi books I have ever read in my life are being made into movies...
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy & The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Quintology
LOTR was probably the most amazing movie experience ever.
We'll see how Hitchhikers fares. Looking good though, so far.
Marvin is so darn cute!!! Gotta get me one of those...though he does resemble one of those hypnotic head-waving, colourful, light-powered lil' smiley dude table ornaments you find in toy stores...you know, the ones from Japan that claim to be able to keep you calm and happy with the lil' round-headed dude's rhythmic nodding...urgh. They cost like $19.90 to $29.90?
Basically an overly expensive animated dust-collector..unless maybe you hang rubber bands on it. They should make it into an insect repellent, at the very least...have some function other than nodding or waving it's head lamely.
(Imagine! Nod - mosquitoes drop dead - nod - cockroaches konk out - nod - flies decimated - nod - termites commit mass suicide...kewl!!!)
If they did model Marvin after those thingies, it'd be SUCH an appropriate irony!!! *guffaw*
Check out the offical movie sites! Note Marvin's groaning and commentary!
http://hitchhikers.movies.go.com/
http://www.thefilmfactory.co.uk/hitchhikers/global/index.html
And pay worshipful tribute to the Genius of Douglas Adams!!!
http://www.douglasadams.com/
And the awesome legacy of Jim Henson:
http://www.henson.com/
There are probably multitudes of LOTR websites out there, but have you heard that Canadians are gonna bring LOTR onto the stage? LOTR as a musical...imagine that. (Brain shudders)
http://lotr.dynalias.com/main.html
Anyway, I still like the official movie site:
http://www.lordoftherings.net/
http://www.theonering.net/index.shtml is really worth exploring too.
Also check out Sir Ian Mckellen's blog! Listen to the man's voice! Makes my gut do a happy wriggle. (Okay, bad expression!!!) Xp
http://www.mckellen.com/
In comparison, fans have made Sir Ian Holm a fancier site!
http://www.ianholm.homestead.com/fan_page.html
And Christopher Lee's career makes being a multilinguist more than just cool:
http://christopherleeweb.com/index.php
Hey, why all the old guys? *lol* Oh well, I like old people.
Love the design on this site! Blanchett is Gorgeous!!!
http://www.cateblanchett.net/
And of course, the bombshell that is ORLANDO BLOOM:
http://www.theofficialorlandobloomsite.com/index.php
http://www.theorlandobloomfiles.com/
Plus the uber-multi-talented Viggo Mortensen (he doesn't seem to have an official website though - most of the younger stars probably don't, I guess.)
http://www.frostyland.com/Viggo/viggo.index.shtml
http://specialrealms.com/VM/sitenews.html
More later...:D
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy & The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Quintology
LOTR was probably the most amazing movie experience ever.
We'll see how Hitchhikers fares. Looking good though, so far.
Marvin is so darn cute!!! Gotta get me one of those...though he does resemble one of those hypnotic head-waving, colourful, light-powered lil' smiley dude table ornaments you find in toy stores...you know, the ones from Japan that claim to be able to keep you calm and happy with the lil' round-headed dude's rhythmic nodding...urgh. They cost like $19.90 to $29.90?
Basically an overly expensive animated dust-collector..unless maybe you hang rubber bands on it. They should make it into an insect repellent, at the very least...have some function other than nodding or waving it's head lamely.
(Imagine! Nod - mosquitoes drop dead - nod - cockroaches konk out - nod - flies decimated - nod - termites commit mass suicide...kewl!!!)
If they did model Marvin after those thingies, it'd be SUCH an appropriate irony!!! *guffaw*
Check out the offical movie sites! Note Marvin's groaning and commentary!
http://hitchhikers.movies.go.com/
http://www.thefilmfactory.co.uk/hitchhikers/global/index.html
And pay worshipful tribute to the Genius of Douglas Adams!!!
http://www.douglasadams.com/
And the awesome legacy of Jim Henson:
http://www.henson.com/
There are probably multitudes of LOTR websites out there, but have you heard that Canadians are gonna bring LOTR onto the stage? LOTR as a musical...imagine that. (Brain shudders)
http://lotr.dynalias.com/main.html
Anyway, I still like the official movie site:
http://www.lordoftherings.net/
http://www.theonering.net/index.shtml is really worth exploring too.
Also check out Sir Ian Mckellen's blog! Listen to the man's voice! Makes my gut do a happy wriggle. (Okay, bad expression!!!) Xp
http://www.mckellen.com/
In comparison, fans have made Sir Ian Holm a fancier site!
http://www.ianholm.homestead.com/fan_page.html
And Christopher Lee's career makes being a multilinguist more than just cool:
http://christopherleeweb.com/index.php
Hey, why all the old guys? *lol* Oh well, I like old people.
Love the design on this site! Blanchett is Gorgeous!!!
http://www.cateblanchett.net/
And of course, the bombshell that is ORLANDO BLOOM:
http://www.theofficialorlandobloomsite.com/index.php
http://www.theorlandobloomfiles.com/
Plus the uber-multi-talented Viggo Mortensen (he doesn't seem to have an official website though - most of the younger stars probably don't, I guess.)
http://www.frostyland.com/Viggo/viggo.index.shtml
http://specialrealms.com/VM/sitenews.html
More later...:D
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Four Attributes of a Life God Blesses
Friday, April 15, 2005
by Os Hillman
So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed." ~ Isaiah 28:16
Whenever God calls us into a consecrated life, it is made up of four distinct stages. Christ often compared this process to building a house. First, we must prepare to build by laying a foundation. That foundation is none other than Jesus Christ Himself. Any foundation other than Christ will not stand.
Second, as we enter a walk of faith with God, He allows each of us to experience trials, testings, miracles, and challenges in life that are designed to provide "faith experiences" that demonstrate tangible evidences of His work in our life: Moses' burning-bush experience, Peter's walk on the water, Joshua's parting of the Jordan River.
These experiences built the faith of these people. The depth and width of our calling is directly proportional to the faith experiences He allows in each of our lives. If God plans an international ministry with you, chances are you will experience a higher degree of faith experiences compared to another. The reason being, you will need to look on these to ensure your calling and provide testimony to His work in your life.
The third stage deals with motives. "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord" (Prov. 16:2). What is the motive behind my actions? Is it only financial accumulation? Is it to gain control? Is it to create independence? The primary motive must be God's leading you to take such an action - it must be obedience. These other factors must be by-products of the decision.
Finally, we are prepared to take action. Here we must ask, "Do we have the skill, quality, and ability to enter into this activity?" So often we have not trained ourselves adequately to be successful in our endeavor. You would never want someone working on your teeth who had not been trained and certified as a dentist.
Before you begin your next project, ask yourself these four questions. What is the foundation this project is based on? What experiences has God demonstrated in my life that indicate His involvement? What is my motive for entering this activity? Do I have the skill, quality, and ability to accomplish the task? Answering these questions will tell you whether God will bless your activity.
by Os Hillman
So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed." ~ Isaiah 28:16
Whenever God calls us into a consecrated life, it is made up of four distinct stages. Christ often compared this process to building a house. First, we must prepare to build by laying a foundation. That foundation is none other than Jesus Christ Himself. Any foundation other than Christ will not stand.
Second, as we enter a walk of faith with God, He allows each of us to experience trials, testings, miracles, and challenges in life that are designed to provide "faith experiences" that demonstrate tangible evidences of His work in our life: Moses' burning-bush experience, Peter's walk on the water, Joshua's parting of the Jordan River.
These experiences built the faith of these people. The depth and width of our calling is directly proportional to the faith experiences He allows in each of our lives. If God plans an international ministry with you, chances are you will experience a higher degree of faith experiences compared to another. The reason being, you will need to look on these to ensure your calling and provide testimony to His work in your life.
The third stage deals with motives. "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord" (Prov. 16:2). What is the motive behind my actions? Is it only financial accumulation? Is it to gain control? Is it to create independence? The primary motive must be God's leading you to take such an action - it must be obedience. These other factors must be by-products of the decision.
Finally, we are prepared to take action. Here we must ask, "Do we have the skill, quality, and ability to enter into this activity?" So often we have not trained ourselves adequately to be successful in our endeavor. You would never want someone working on your teeth who had not been trained and certified as a dentist.
Before you begin your next project, ask yourself these four questions. What is the foundation this project is based on? What experiences has God demonstrated in my life that indicate His involvement? What is my motive for entering this activity? Do I have the skill, quality, and ability to accomplish the task? Answering these questions will tell you whether God will bless your activity.
MARKETING WEEKLY, 6 APRIL 2005
Hyundai appoints start-up to million-dollar business
By Debbie Cai
Singapore - Komoco Motors-distributed marque brand Hyundai has appointed recently-formed The Alchemy Partnership as its brand communications agency after a presentation of agency credentials. Alchemy will take on responsibility for the client’s million-dollar Singapore creative and media assignments.
“We are encouraged by the win and it’s a good start for us -- the winning feeling is what going into business on your own is all about,” Christopher Foo, Managing Partner and CEO, The Alchemy Partnership told Marketing Weekly. Foo attributed his agency’s success to the “shrewdness” of Komoco Motors MD Teo Hock Seng, “who felt that our track record in the automotive category would significantly contribute to fulfilling his targets.”
Alchemy staff have, between them, past experience working on automotive brands such as BMW, Mercedes Benz, Proton Saga and Land Rover.
Hyundai spent about $4 million in marketing communications activities last year, selling close to 14,000 cars and achieving second place in market share behind Singapore leader Toyota.
By Debbie Cai
Singapore - Komoco Motors-distributed marque brand Hyundai has appointed recently-formed The Alchemy Partnership as its brand communications agency after a presentation of agency credentials. Alchemy will take on responsibility for the client’s million-dollar Singapore creative and media assignments.
“We are encouraged by the win and it’s a good start for us -- the winning feeling is what going into business on your own is all about,” Christopher Foo, Managing Partner and CEO, The Alchemy Partnership told Marketing Weekly. Foo attributed his agency’s success to the “shrewdness” of Komoco Motors MD Teo Hock Seng, “who felt that our track record in the automotive category would significantly contribute to fulfilling his targets.”
Alchemy staff have, between them, past experience working on automotive brands such as BMW, Mercedes Benz, Proton Saga and Land Rover.
Hyundai spent about $4 million in marketing communications activities last year, selling close to 14,000 cars and achieving second place in market share behind Singapore leader Toyota.
Thought Puking
This is a cry for help.
It was not the first time she ran away from home or threatened to abandon everything in this wretched life and seek her own demise. She has never stopped being pessimistic and assuming the worst of such situations; that she was being polarised, blamed, discarded, sabotaged, and even abused. Yes, we took her for granted. We cannot avoid the blame; we must point accusatory fingers at ourselves.
The problem had been ballooning all the time; we just never knew how to deal with it or face it. We covered it up with a sheer and shallow belief that things will blow over and that all these issues are small, unrelated complications that will fade in time from our memories. That such unhappiness can be ignored and will go away after being neglected for a while.
It's becoming a pattern, like some chronic disease, like epilepsy. An attack shakes us up, makes us panic, but when it is over we deliberately erase it from our consciousness. And then slowly, the disease develops it's own character, it's own complications, begins to have a destructive spirit that hides behind the facade of our comfortable lives, grinning, planning it's next move.
Perhaps my paranoia feeds this threat of destruction, offers it a gift of emotional weakness that only makes a mockery of my concern, my guilt, my deep-seated helplessness. Men do not feel like this, do they? They just do not have this vein of insecurity within them. They prefer to dismiss the whole event, as though hushing the whines of an irritating child throwing a random temper tantrum.
But she is no child, and the problem is no random event. Do we wait for the hurricane at the end of this Butterfly Effect, wait for the bomb to explode one day and shatter us all? Or am I simply exaggerating this entirety in my own overwrought mind, letting it corrode my sensibilities?
I do not know. Only the helplessness grows. Without them there will be nothing left, and already the emptiness is like an open sore that gnaws the heart, a beast that knows no limits to its hunger.
God help us.
It was not the first time she ran away from home or threatened to abandon everything in this wretched life and seek her own demise. She has never stopped being pessimistic and assuming the worst of such situations; that she was being polarised, blamed, discarded, sabotaged, and even abused. Yes, we took her for granted. We cannot avoid the blame; we must point accusatory fingers at ourselves.
The problem had been ballooning all the time; we just never knew how to deal with it or face it. We covered it up with a sheer and shallow belief that things will blow over and that all these issues are small, unrelated complications that will fade in time from our memories. That such unhappiness can be ignored and will go away after being neglected for a while.
It's becoming a pattern, like some chronic disease, like epilepsy. An attack shakes us up, makes us panic, but when it is over we deliberately erase it from our consciousness. And then slowly, the disease develops it's own character, it's own complications, begins to have a destructive spirit that hides behind the facade of our comfortable lives, grinning, planning it's next move.
Perhaps my paranoia feeds this threat of destruction, offers it a gift of emotional weakness that only makes a mockery of my concern, my guilt, my deep-seated helplessness. Men do not feel like this, do they? They just do not have this vein of insecurity within them. They prefer to dismiss the whole event, as though hushing the whines of an irritating child throwing a random temper tantrum.
But she is no child, and the problem is no random event. Do we wait for the hurricane at the end of this Butterfly Effect, wait for the bomb to explode one day and shatter us all? Or am I simply exaggerating this entirety in my own overwrought mind, letting it corrode my sensibilities?
I do not know. Only the helplessness grows. Without them there will be nothing left, and already the emptiness is like an open sore that gnaws the heart, a beast that knows no limits to its hunger.
God help us.
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