From that great giant blender of Life, spare me some small ounce of time to do more of this:
http://www.funkygrad.com/lifestyle/displayarticle.php?artID=731&subcat=live
and get as good as this:
http://www.venacava.org/newmain.html
Monday, June 05, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
A handful of thoughts
- Imagining the emptiness and pain when I will have to give up somebody in order to fulfil something. Dream or Lover?
- Wondering if I am losing my child-like perspective, and therefore, my youth and the heart and spirit that give it strength
- Am I too self-absorbed and do I deserve what I am getting in life?
- Collars and cut and clothes and fabric
- Sleep deprivation
- The warmth I feel when he is with me
- Am I taking too much for granted?
- Money problems
- Getting rid of my spare tyre
- Getting down to doing all that craftwork, drawing, painting, and etc. stuff that I've put aside for the longest time
- How the heck am I supposed to break out of this cycle???
Monday, May 08, 2006
Whole meal in a pot'o'rice
I'm brainstorming a bunch of easy-to-cook one-pot meals for lunchbox purposes...to save money, of course. Maybe completely vegetarian, maybe completely oil-free. Healthy eating!
Something pseudo-Korean, to be all dumped in a rice-cooker:
white and brown rice, a variety of mushrooms (button, straw, abalone, etc), diced red carrots, snow peas, maybe some yellow capsicum, and a bit of Taiwanese sausage, all cooked in chicken broth, then topped with pine nuts, toasted nori seaweed, and bonito flakes.
Quickie soup:
Add chicken stock to cucumber, white/red carrots, corn cobs, sweet potatoes/potatoes, maybe even leafy veggies like watercress, quickly boil together or microwave, then beat an egg into the mix. Tofu optional, for protein.
Super-chawanmushi (can't be lunchboxed; it's a cook-now-eat-now dish):
Pork/chicken cubes or mince, prawns, squid, crab-sticks, carrot cubes, corn nibblets, dried Chinese mushrooms, broccoli/cauliflower pieces, beaten eggs, water, all mixed and steamed or microwaved to form a savoury egg-pudding dish.
There's also Tofu Salad, where you can top it off with lots of different toppings...that's kind of fun if the silken tofu doesn't turn into mush.
Hmmm...gotta dream up some more...
Something pseudo-Korean, to be all dumped in a rice-cooker:
white and brown rice, a variety of mushrooms (button, straw, abalone, etc), diced red carrots, snow peas, maybe some yellow capsicum, and a bit of Taiwanese sausage, all cooked in chicken broth, then topped with pine nuts, toasted nori seaweed, and bonito flakes.
Quickie soup:
Add chicken stock to cucumber, white/red carrots, corn cobs, sweet potatoes/potatoes, maybe even leafy veggies like watercress, quickly boil together or microwave, then beat an egg into the mix. Tofu optional, for protein.
Super-chawanmushi (can't be lunchboxed; it's a cook-now-eat-now dish):
Pork/chicken cubes or mince, prawns, squid, crab-sticks, carrot cubes, corn nibblets, dried Chinese mushrooms, broccoli/cauliflower pieces, beaten eggs, water, all mixed and steamed or microwaved to form a savoury egg-pudding dish.
There's also Tofu Salad, where you can top it off with lots of different toppings...that's kind of fun if the silken tofu doesn't turn into mush.
Hmmm...gotta dream up some more...
Monday, April 17, 2006
Struggling in the Workplace
What lines should be drawn between "training" and "exploitation"? How do you measure the value of a human being as an employee in an organisation? How far does the employee have to go, what does she have to endure, and what kind of dire and drastic circumstances have to occur, before she has to finally evaluate that there is simply no other route to walk, other than out? What if there are comfort zones too valuable to ignore, too (surprisingly) reassuring to break out of?
How does one find balance in the clashing perspectives of the employer and the employee, and is there any right or wrong? When peace is kept through silencing the opinions of one party, where is the fairness and openness, and the "completely necessary feedback process" so highly recommended in a secular corporate organisation? Or does politics always prevail, and seniority/greater hierarchy always triumph?
When you judge a person by the error she commits, do you also not consider the context, motive, intention, magnitude, and, of course, consequences? Or does the initial agenda of teaching a lesson to the errant person serve an even higher purpose, therefore deserving greater priority?
I'm trying to find justification in all of this, some rationalisation of the situation. Maybe I just don't learn. Maybe I'm being too stubborn, inflexible and narrow-minded, Maybe I'm naive and inexperienced, foolish, immature, and rude. I just cannot understand my boss's point of view, and he cannot understand mine, and we just are so paralysed in arguing our individual cases that we neglect to come to a compromise, and then I get mowed over by his reprimand and end up sulking for the rest of the evening.
We just seem to be playing this cruel game that parodies a conflicting, melodramatic family-tragedy, and spins in a vicious cycle that cannot end, over and over again, each time in a new scenario, but always with the same frustrating conclusion.
Should I just walk out and never return? When will that time come?
How does one find balance in the clashing perspectives of the employer and the employee, and is there any right or wrong? When peace is kept through silencing the opinions of one party, where is the fairness and openness, and the "completely necessary feedback process" so highly recommended in a secular corporate organisation? Or does politics always prevail, and seniority/greater hierarchy always triumph?
When you judge a person by the error she commits, do you also not consider the context, motive, intention, magnitude, and, of course, consequences? Or does the initial agenda of teaching a lesson to the errant person serve an even higher purpose, therefore deserving greater priority?
I'm trying to find justification in all of this, some rationalisation of the situation. Maybe I just don't learn. Maybe I'm being too stubborn, inflexible and narrow-minded, Maybe I'm naive and inexperienced, foolish, immature, and rude. I just cannot understand my boss's point of view, and he cannot understand mine, and we just are so paralysed in arguing our individual cases that we neglect to come to a compromise, and then I get mowed over by his reprimand and end up sulking for the rest of the evening.
We just seem to be playing this cruel game that parodies a conflicting, melodramatic family-tragedy, and spins in a vicious cycle that cannot end, over and over again, each time in a new scenario, but always with the same frustrating conclusion.
Should I just walk out and never return? When will that time come?
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The End of Tolerance
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11569485/site/newsweek/
Farewell, multiculturalism. A cartoon backlash is pushing Europe to insist upon its values.
Farewell, multiculturalism. A cartoon backlash is pushing Europe to insist upon its values.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
America's younger workers losing ground on income
By Mark Trumbull, Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor
Mon Feb 27, 3:00 AM ET
In the race to get ahead economically, America's young workers are falling behind.
A new survey shows that median incomes fell for householders under 45, even as they rose for older ones, between 2001 and 2004.
Income fell 8 percent, adjusted for inflation, for those under 35 and 9 percent for those aged 35 to 44. The numbers add new weight to longstanding concerns about whether younger generations of Americans will achieve living standards that are better - or at least equal to - those of their parents.
"It's a scary question," says Carrie Brown, who runs the Blue Frog Bakery in Boston. She says that for now, at least, she's not keeping pace. And if she and her husband have children, she says she's not sure if her children will enjoy the same lifestyle she did while growing up.
Her concern is shared by many Americans who follow the baby-boom generation. One often-voiced worry is about generational fairness in tax burdens, given the prospect of a soaring federal tab in coming decades for Medicare and Social Security as the number of elderly Americans rises.
But today, even long before any such fiscal shock arrives, younger workers are already feeling squeezed by other trends. An increasingly competitive global economy, the rising cost of higher education and healthcare, and changing patterns of family life are among the factors that have combined to make the career environment tougher, economists say.
"There's no guarantee" that US living standards will continue to rise, says Laurence Kotlikoff, a Boston University specialist in generational economics.
For now, the prospect of a generation underperforming their parents may be more of a fear than a reality. By many measures, America continues to grow more prosperous with each passing decade.
A long-term trend of falling interest rates since the 1980s, for example, means that even after the recent runup in home prices, houses are generally more affordable today than they were 20 years ago. And homes today contain gadgets - from a child's video-game system to an adult's pocket e-mail device - that didn't exist a generation ago.
At the same time, however, evidence of economic challenges also abounds.
The signs include:
• Rising debt levels. Over the past decade, the volume of federal student loans tripled, reaching $85 billion in new loans last year, according to a new book by Anya Kamenetz, "Generation Debt." Nearly a quarter of college students are using credit cards to pay some of their tuition costs, she writes.
• The median income for men under age 44 was significantly lower in 1997 than in 1970, after adjusting for inflation, according to a long-term analysis by the Census Bureau in the late 1990s. For those over 45, incomes barely held their own during that period.
• The entry of women into the workforce in those decades has helped push median family incomes up over time. But even when men and women are included together, younger workers (age 25-34) are earning well below what they did in 1970. And at all ages, evidence suggests that families are putting in more hours of work to make their household incomes rise.
• Even with extra time at work, median family income has barely budged since 1995 for householders below 45, up about 5 percent after inflation through 2004.
Those aged 45 to 54 did better, with family incomes rising 23 percent during that period, according to the numbers released last week from the Federal Reserve Board.
And since the end of 2001, at the outset of the current economic expansion, younger workers again have underperformed, with incomes generally falling while their older counterparts have seen incomes rise.
That all helps explain the subtitle of Ms. Kamenetz's book: "Why now is a terrible time to be young." The book is partly a manifesto on generational politics, as she eyes the cost of baby boomers' retirement for her generation.
It's unfair, some economists say, to blame the baby boom generation, since the larger issue is that healthcare costs keep rising and people keep living longer in general. Rising healthcare costs are hitting younger workers in another way, too. As benefit costs rise, employers often have less left to boost wages.
Another factor behind the weak incomes for younger generations may be shifts in household composition.
The past few decades have seen a rise of single-parent and nonfamily households, which typically have lower incomes than married-couple households.
Perhaps most significant, though, is a labor market that has become tougher on workers, especially those with lower skills. Global competition has compressed wage gains.
Thus, despite a boom in worker productivity, "what the typical family or typical worker has to show for it has been remarkably little," says Dean Baker, an economist at the Center for Economic and Policy Research in Washington.
In his view, the biggest issue is the rising inequality of incomes during the past quarter century.
At the Blue Frog Bakery, Ms. Brown sees that trend among her own peers. "People are either doing phenomenally well or living paycheck to paycheck," she says, as the smell of fresh croissants wafts through the air.
Still, many economists say progress is possible.
"In the long run I'm optimistic," says Michael Shields, an economist who specializes in demographics at Central Michigan University in Mount Pleasant.
What worries him most, he says, is the long work hours for his children who are just out of college. "When are they going to be able to take a break?" he asks. "I don't see it."
Copyright © 2006 The Christian Science Monitor
Mon Feb 27, 3:00 AM ET
In the race to get ahead economically, America's young workers are falling behind.
A new survey shows that median incomes fell for householders under 45, even as they rose for older ones, between 2001 and 2004.
Income fell 8 percent, adjusted for inflation, for those under 35 and 9 percent for those aged 35 to 44. The numbers add new weight to longstanding concerns about whether younger generations of Americans will achieve living standards that are better - or at least equal to - those of their parents.
"It's a scary question," says Carrie Brown, who runs the Blue Frog Bakery in Boston. She says that for now, at least, she's not keeping pace. And if she and her husband have children, she says she's not sure if her children will enjoy the same lifestyle she did while growing up.
Her concern is shared by many Americans who follow the baby-boom generation. One often-voiced worry is about generational fairness in tax burdens, given the prospect of a soaring federal tab in coming decades for Medicare and Social Security as the number of elderly Americans rises.
But today, even long before any such fiscal shock arrives, younger workers are already feeling squeezed by other trends. An increasingly competitive global economy, the rising cost of higher education and healthcare, and changing patterns of family life are among the factors that have combined to make the career environment tougher, economists say.
"There's no guarantee" that US living standards will continue to rise, says Laurence Kotlikoff, a Boston University specialist in generational economics.
For now, the prospect of a generation underperforming their parents may be more of a fear than a reality. By many measures, America continues to grow more prosperous with each passing decade.
A long-term trend of falling interest rates since the 1980s, for example, means that even after the recent runup in home prices, houses are generally more affordable today than they were 20 years ago. And homes today contain gadgets - from a child's video-game system to an adult's pocket e-mail device - that didn't exist a generation ago.
At the same time, however, evidence of economic challenges also abounds.
The signs include:
• Rising debt levels. Over the past decade, the volume of federal student loans tripled, reaching $85 billion in new loans last year, according to a new book by Anya Kamenetz, "Generation Debt." Nearly a quarter of college students are using credit cards to pay some of their tuition costs, she writes.
• The median income for men under age 44 was significantly lower in 1997 than in 1970, after adjusting for inflation, according to a long-term analysis by the Census Bureau in the late 1990s. For those over 45, incomes barely held their own during that period.
• The entry of women into the workforce in those decades has helped push median family incomes up over time. But even when men and women are included together, younger workers (age 25-34) are earning well below what they did in 1970. And at all ages, evidence suggests that families are putting in more hours of work to make their household incomes rise.
• Even with extra time at work, median family income has barely budged since 1995 for householders below 45, up about 5 percent after inflation through 2004.
Those aged 45 to 54 did better, with family incomes rising 23 percent during that period, according to the numbers released last week from the Federal Reserve Board.
And since the end of 2001, at the outset of the current economic expansion, younger workers again have underperformed, with incomes generally falling while their older counterparts have seen incomes rise.
That all helps explain the subtitle of Ms. Kamenetz's book: "Why now is a terrible time to be young." The book is partly a manifesto on generational politics, as she eyes the cost of baby boomers' retirement for her generation.
It's unfair, some economists say, to blame the baby boom generation, since the larger issue is that healthcare costs keep rising and people keep living longer in general. Rising healthcare costs are hitting younger workers in another way, too. As benefit costs rise, employers often have less left to boost wages.
Another factor behind the weak incomes for younger generations may be shifts in household composition.
The past few decades have seen a rise of single-parent and nonfamily households, which typically have lower incomes than married-couple households.
Perhaps most significant, though, is a labor market that has become tougher on workers, especially those with lower skills. Global competition has compressed wage gains.
Thus, despite a boom in worker productivity, "what the typical family or typical worker has to show for it has been remarkably little," says Dean Baker, an economist at the Center for Economic and Policy Research in Washington.
In his view, the biggest issue is the rising inequality of incomes during the past quarter century.
At the Blue Frog Bakery, Ms. Brown sees that trend among her own peers. "People are either doing phenomenally well or living paycheck to paycheck," she says, as the smell of fresh croissants wafts through the air.
Still, many economists say progress is possible.
"In the long run I'm optimistic," says Michael Shields, an economist who specializes in demographics at Central Michigan University in Mount Pleasant.
What worries him most, he says, is the long work hours for his children who are just out of college. "When are they going to be able to take a break?" he asks. "I don't see it."
Copyright © 2006 The Christian Science Monitor
When sleep is just a dream
By Marco R. della Cava, USA TODAY
Mon Feb 27, 8:05 AM ET
Admit it. You're reading this, but given the opportunity, you'd gladly snooze or slumber. For this is a nation in dire need of a nap.
Never before have work and play stolen more hours from the sandman. Between a global economy that demands increased productivity and a technology-fueled entertainment machine that provides non-stop diversions, it's a wonder people get any rest at all.
An NBC Today show/Zogby International poll indicates nearly half of Americans say they don't get enough sleep and roughly one-quarter get fewer than six hours a night. Data from the National Center for Health Statistics show a 20-year trend of Americans reporting less sleep.
Whatever the roots of a sleep problem, from a harried life to a medical condition, people are desperately seeking ways to get some quality shut-eye.
Some have found solace in sleeping-pill prescriptions, 42 million of which were filled last year, up 60% since 2000, according to research company IMS Health. Others have followed offbeat routes to a rested feeling - from frazzled New Yorkers who zonk out midday in rented napping "pods" to an Internet blogger in Las Vegas who says his energy stems from his ability to sleep in 20-minute bursts every few hours, around the clock.
Having some sort of strategy to get the sleep we need is crucial in a culture that is making increasing demands on our time, says David White, professor of sleep medicine at Harvard University and editor of the journal Sleep.
"This is an interesting juncture. Stress and anxiety levels are at a fever pitch, which limits the ability to sleep well. And there's also more science than ever showing what a detriment that (unrested) state is to performance and health," White says. "We all have different sleep needs. Just be sensitive to that and give yourself what you need."
But the truth is, most of us don't really know how sleep-deprived we are. Life pins up its daily to-do lists, and we tick off the boxes.
Freelance photographer Elizabeth Coll, 29, often found herself dragging between assignments in Manhattan but was too far from her Brooklyn home to get some z's. Now she pops into MetroNaps in the Empire State Building.
For her $65-a-month membership, Coll is entitled to one 20-minute nap daily in one of MetroNaps' eight sleep pods, futuristic beds each with a bubble dome that pumps in soothing New Age music.
"It's great to be able to do this in a city that barely lets you sit down, let alone nap," she says. "I always feel full of energy afterward."
For Coll, the sleep thief is her frantic schedule; for others it's the body itself.
How real is the problem?
Throughout most of her life, San Francisco office administrator Ruth Lym, 59, says she didn't realize how tired she was: "I just thought everyone fell asleep at their keyboard after lunch, or at a friend's house if the temperature got too warm."
Five years ago, she visited The Sleep Disorders Center at the University of California-San Francisco and learned that she had sleep apnea, an inability to breathe well during sleep that in extreme cases can be fatal.
Ever since she learned to sleep with an air-pumping mask "that makes you look like Darth Vader," Lym's life has brightened. "But I still have to watch out to make sure I'm rested. I'd love to go to bed at midnight, but I shoot for 10 p.m. And then there's always that temptation in our society to just pop a pill."
Ads for prescription sleeping pills such as Ambien and Lunesta have indeed become a familiar presence, particularly in media aimed at women, who studies indicate suffer from insomnia more than men.
What seems like an insomniac's dream is making some health analysts restless. Sleep editor White says he does not "make any value judgment about taking sleeping pills," but says he is concerned that "20 years from now we might evolve into a society that takes a pill to wake up and one to go to bed."
Public Citizen's Sidney Wolfe is more forceful.
"There's a whole scam going on here," the watchdog group's health research director says. "The drug companies launched these incredibly successful marketing campaigns that convince normal people they have serious sleep issues. That's not to say there aren't some people with problems, but I don't think the numbers are as high as what groups like the National Sleep Foundation report."
That foundation, which receives funding from companies such as Ambien maker Sanofi-Aventis, conducts an annual poll on sleep habits. Last year, it reported that "about one-half of America's adults say they frequently experience at least one symptom of insomnia."
The foundation's CEO, Richard Gelula, says his group does not promote pill use: "We always urge people to evaluate their sleep habits and see what they can change in their lives first."
He adds that the group's polls indicate 11% of adults use alcohol as a sleeping aid and 9% opt for over-the-counter drugs. "What this says to me is that there is a lot of desire to treat the problem, but many folks aren't going to their doctors."
A coffee culture
As the debate over what constitutes a sleeping problem goes on, harried Americans struggle to keep pace with daily life at a time when cellphones, computers and the Internet have virtually eliminated the notion of downtime.
Various industries are cashing in. Starbucks is ever ready to lend the groggy a jittery hand, with 10,000 coffee stores worldwide (7,699 of them in the USA) and plans for 10,000 more by 2010.
When that caffeine buzz wears off, many people opt to pass out on pricey bedding. In 2004, 24% of shoppers paid $1,000 or more for a mattress, compared with 15% in 2000, according to the International Sleep Products Association.
For Vivian Ashbourne, the keys to a great sleep are the heavy bedroom curtains that beat back the daylight in his New Brunswick, N.J., home. Ashbourne, a divorced dad, is a night-shift nurse. Though his body has been trained to rest during the day, he still feels the effects.
"You feel like you're not thinking as sharply," he says. "But ... I just make do. This is a sacrifice, something I do in order to be able to spend some time with my child."
About 20% of Americans don't work traditional day-shift jobs, a statistic that probably will increase as the service economy grows to keep pace with baby boomers and their discretionary income, says Harriet Presser, University of Maryland sociologist and author of Working in a 24/7 Economy: Challenges for American Families.
"What's concerning is that late-night shifts often result in chronic sleep deprivation, which in turn has ripple effects" that can include drowsy driving and marital strife, Presser says. She cites the example of a night-shift policeman returning home in the morning just as his wife heads off to work, leaving him with child-care duties.
"Kids suffer because parents don't have the energy to cook for them, so they eat fast food. And marriages suffer because people stop communicating."
International law firms, data processing companies and increasing numbers of manufacturing outfits also are asking more from employees as cheap foreign labor and other factors put the squeeze on profits. Enter Circadian Technologies, a consulting firm in Burlington, Mass., that helps Fortune 500 companies analyze employee work schedules to craft shifts that keep a body's circadian rhythm (which dictates sleep times) in mind.
When a trucking company sought the firm's help to cut its accident rate, steps were taken to alter drivers' timetables. "Accidents dropped 75%," says Martin Moore-Ede, Circadian's chairman. "Globalization is driving efficiency into the American economy, but on the backs of employees. Increasingly, though, companies are taking proactive steps to fight fatigue."
Sleeping on the job is one of society's enduring taboos, but it's one that may well have to fall if our economy is to remain healthy. That's the crusade of Bill and Camille Anthony, co-authors of books on the virtues of napping and the duo behind National Workplace Napping Day. (The drowsy take note: It's April 3.)
"There's such a prejudice against napping in our culture. You 'sneak a nap,' 'get caught napping.' But it's a no-cost way to keep people happy," says Bill Anthony, a professor at Boston University's Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation. He naps on a mat in his office, as does his wife at her job as CFO of a mortgage company.
Sleep analysts concur that a 20-minute nap - no more, no less - works wonders for those who need a daytime pick-me-up.
Arshad Chowdhury, co-founder of MetroNaps, says the idea for his business came to him after "seeing my investment-banking colleagues fall asleep in meetings." MetroNaps will expand to New York's financial district this year; it also has pods in Vancouver's airport.
"It's a bit like selling bottled water in the '80s," he says. "Napping will be hot, but it might take some time to catch on in the culture."
The 'polyphasic' system
Not, however, in Steve Pavlina's house, where napping has become an art form. The Las Vegas self-help website operator recently decided to adopt a "polyphasic" sleep routine - sleeping for 20-minute stretches once every four to six hours, around the clock.
"For the first three weeks, I was pretty cranky, but now I'm just fantastic," says Pavlina, 34. "I have so much time to myself at night to do things I like. And yet I'm rested."
Pavlina's wife, Erin, 36, confirms that her husband appears quite normal, despite sleeping a total of about three hours a day. And the benefits of this odd routine include Steve baking in the middle of the night, serving as the family watchdog and ceding the bed to his wife as he naps on the couch.
Analysts aren't sure about polyphasic sleeping. "I suppose some can do this and be OK, but there could be health implications down the line," says Sleep editor White, adding that best approach remains "getting in a good six to eight hours between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m."
Indeed, with simpler sleep-improvement options available - earlier bedtimes, lowered caffeine intake and kid-tested napping - it's doubtful many will opt for Pavlina's approach to feeling both rested and productive in a go-go culture.
Just ask his wife. "I don't think I'll be trying this," she says with a laugh. "I really like my sleep."
Copyright © 2006 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc.
Mon Feb 27, 8:05 AM ET
Admit it. You're reading this, but given the opportunity, you'd gladly snooze or slumber. For this is a nation in dire need of a nap.
Never before have work and play stolen more hours from the sandman. Between a global economy that demands increased productivity and a technology-fueled entertainment machine that provides non-stop diversions, it's a wonder people get any rest at all.
An NBC Today show/Zogby International poll indicates nearly half of Americans say they don't get enough sleep and roughly one-quarter get fewer than six hours a night. Data from the National Center for Health Statistics show a 20-year trend of Americans reporting less sleep.
Whatever the roots of a sleep problem, from a harried life to a medical condition, people are desperately seeking ways to get some quality shut-eye.
Some have found solace in sleeping-pill prescriptions, 42 million of which were filled last year, up 60% since 2000, according to research company IMS Health. Others have followed offbeat routes to a rested feeling - from frazzled New Yorkers who zonk out midday in rented napping "pods" to an Internet blogger in Las Vegas who says his energy stems from his ability to sleep in 20-minute bursts every few hours, around the clock.
Having some sort of strategy to get the sleep we need is crucial in a culture that is making increasing demands on our time, says David White, professor of sleep medicine at Harvard University and editor of the journal Sleep.
"This is an interesting juncture. Stress and anxiety levels are at a fever pitch, which limits the ability to sleep well. And there's also more science than ever showing what a detriment that (unrested) state is to performance and health," White says. "We all have different sleep needs. Just be sensitive to that and give yourself what you need."
But the truth is, most of us don't really know how sleep-deprived we are. Life pins up its daily to-do lists, and we tick off the boxes.
Freelance photographer Elizabeth Coll, 29, often found herself dragging between assignments in Manhattan but was too far from her Brooklyn home to get some z's. Now she pops into MetroNaps in the Empire State Building.
For her $65-a-month membership, Coll is entitled to one 20-minute nap daily in one of MetroNaps' eight sleep pods, futuristic beds each with a bubble dome that pumps in soothing New Age music.
"It's great to be able to do this in a city that barely lets you sit down, let alone nap," she says. "I always feel full of energy afterward."
For Coll, the sleep thief is her frantic schedule; for others it's the body itself.
How real is the problem?
Throughout most of her life, San Francisco office administrator Ruth Lym, 59, says she didn't realize how tired she was: "I just thought everyone fell asleep at their keyboard after lunch, or at a friend's house if the temperature got too warm."
Five years ago, she visited The Sleep Disorders Center at the University of California-San Francisco and learned that she had sleep apnea, an inability to breathe well during sleep that in extreme cases can be fatal.
Ever since she learned to sleep with an air-pumping mask "that makes you look like Darth Vader," Lym's life has brightened. "But I still have to watch out to make sure I'm rested. I'd love to go to bed at midnight, but I shoot for 10 p.m. And then there's always that temptation in our society to just pop a pill."
Ads for prescription sleeping pills such as Ambien and Lunesta have indeed become a familiar presence, particularly in media aimed at women, who studies indicate suffer from insomnia more than men.
What seems like an insomniac's dream is making some health analysts restless. Sleep editor White says he does not "make any value judgment about taking sleeping pills," but says he is concerned that "20 years from now we might evolve into a society that takes a pill to wake up and one to go to bed."
Public Citizen's Sidney Wolfe is more forceful.
"There's a whole scam going on here," the watchdog group's health research director says. "The drug companies launched these incredibly successful marketing campaigns that convince normal people they have serious sleep issues. That's not to say there aren't some people with problems, but I don't think the numbers are as high as what groups like the National Sleep Foundation report."
That foundation, which receives funding from companies such as Ambien maker Sanofi-Aventis, conducts an annual poll on sleep habits. Last year, it reported that "about one-half of America's adults say they frequently experience at least one symptom of insomnia."
The foundation's CEO, Richard Gelula, says his group does not promote pill use: "We always urge people to evaluate their sleep habits and see what they can change in their lives first."
He adds that the group's polls indicate 11% of adults use alcohol as a sleeping aid and 9% opt for over-the-counter drugs. "What this says to me is that there is a lot of desire to treat the problem, but many folks aren't going to their doctors."
A coffee culture
As the debate over what constitutes a sleeping problem goes on, harried Americans struggle to keep pace with daily life at a time when cellphones, computers and the Internet have virtually eliminated the notion of downtime.
Various industries are cashing in. Starbucks is ever ready to lend the groggy a jittery hand, with 10,000 coffee stores worldwide (7,699 of them in the USA) and plans for 10,000 more by 2010.
When that caffeine buzz wears off, many people opt to pass out on pricey bedding. In 2004, 24% of shoppers paid $1,000 or more for a mattress, compared with 15% in 2000, according to the International Sleep Products Association.
For Vivian Ashbourne, the keys to a great sleep are the heavy bedroom curtains that beat back the daylight in his New Brunswick, N.J., home. Ashbourne, a divorced dad, is a night-shift nurse. Though his body has been trained to rest during the day, he still feels the effects.
"You feel like you're not thinking as sharply," he says. "But ... I just make do. This is a sacrifice, something I do in order to be able to spend some time with my child."
About 20% of Americans don't work traditional day-shift jobs, a statistic that probably will increase as the service economy grows to keep pace with baby boomers and their discretionary income, says Harriet Presser, University of Maryland sociologist and author of Working in a 24/7 Economy: Challenges for American Families.
"What's concerning is that late-night shifts often result in chronic sleep deprivation, which in turn has ripple effects" that can include drowsy driving and marital strife, Presser says. She cites the example of a night-shift policeman returning home in the morning just as his wife heads off to work, leaving him with child-care duties.
"Kids suffer because parents don't have the energy to cook for them, so they eat fast food. And marriages suffer because people stop communicating."
International law firms, data processing companies and increasing numbers of manufacturing outfits also are asking more from employees as cheap foreign labor and other factors put the squeeze on profits. Enter Circadian Technologies, a consulting firm in Burlington, Mass., that helps Fortune 500 companies analyze employee work schedules to craft shifts that keep a body's circadian rhythm (which dictates sleep times) in mind.
When a trucking company sought the firm's help to cut its accident rate, steps were taken to alter drivers' timetables. "Accidents dropped 75%," says Martin Moore-Ede, Circadian's chairman. "Globalization is driving efficiency into the American economy, but on the backs of employees. Increasingly, though, companies are taking proactive steps to fight fatigue."
Sleeping on the job is one of society's enduring taboos, but it's one that may well have to fall if our economy is to remain healthy. That's the crusade of Bill and Camille Anthony, co-authors of books on the virtues of napping and the duo behind National Workplace Napping Day. (The drowsy take note: It's April 3.)
"There's such a prejudice against napping in our culture. You 'sneak a nap,' 'get caught napping.' But it's a no-cost way to keep people happy," says Bill Anthony, a professor at Boston University's Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation. He naps on a mat in his office, as does his wife at her job as CFO of a mortgage company.
Sleep analysts concur that a 20-minute nap - no more, no less - works wonders for those who need a daytime pick-me-up.
Arshad Chowdhury, co-founder of MetroNaps, says the idea for his business came to him after "seeing my investment-banking colleagues fall asleep in meetings." MetroNaps will expand to New York's financial district this year; it also has pods in Vancouver's airport.
"It's a bit like selling bottled water in the '80s," he says. "Napping will be hot, but it might take some time to catch on in the culture."
The 'polyphasic' system
Not, however, in Steve Pavlina's house, where napping has become an art form. The Las Vegas self-help website operator recently decided to adopt a "polyphasic" sleep routine - sleeping for 20-minute stretches once every four to six hours, around the clock.
"For the first three weeks, I was pretty cranky, but now I'm just fantastic," says Pavlina, 34. "I have so much time to myself at night to do things I like. And yet I'm rested."
Pavlina's wife, Erin, 36, confirms that her husband appears quite normal, despite sleeping a total of about three hours a day. And the benefits of this odd routine include Steve baking in the middle of the night, serving as the family watchdog and ceding the bed to his wife as he naps on the couch.
Analysts aren't sure about polyphasic sleeping. "I suppose some can do this and be OK, but there could be health implications down the line," says Sleep editor White, adding that best approach remains "getting in a good six to eight hours between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m."
Indeed, with simpler sleep-improvement options available - earlier bedtimes, lowered caffeine intake and kid-tested napping - it's doubtful many will opt for Pavlina's approach to feeling both rested and productive in a go-go culture.
Just ask his wife. "I don't think I'll be trying this," she says with a laugh. "I really like my sleep."
Copyright © 2006 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc.
A tiny revelation sparked by grapes
Some fruit taste sweeter when they've been knocked about a bit; they don't look as good as their plumper, unmarked, "prettier" peers, but they taste so much better.
Just a little uglier, just bordering on going bad, but still edible. A little over-ripe, but delicious.
Does this not apply to humans too?
Beauty lies within, yes?
Just a little uglier, just bordering on going bad, but still edible. A little over-ripe, but delicious.
Does this not apply to humans too?
Beauty lies within, yes?
Friday, January 20, 2006
Unlocking the Power
by Os Hillman
I in them and You in Me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me. - John 17:23
There have been certain breakthroughs in the world that have changed the course of history: electricity, the automobile, the atom, and the telephone, to name just a few. If we never recognized the applications of these inventions, we would still be sitting around in the dark, riding horses, and communicating by pony express. However, we have seen the opportunities and the applications, so the world is a different place now.
Jesus made a profound statement that has the potential to change the world if we simply apply the truth. What if I told you that this one truth would allow people to see Jesus and respond to the gospel like nothing we have ever experienced? It is the key to unlocking the door of salvation to so many that remain lost. Yet it is the one thing we, as His children, fail at the most.
What is this one thing? It is unity. Lack of unity among His Body of believers prevents Christ from being revealed to so many. Efforts have been made, but our Body remains fragmented and weak. Consider that there are more than 24,000 Christian denominations in the world today and five new ones beginning each week, according to the 1999 September issue of Moody Magazine. Does this sound like unity?
God has called each of us individually and corporately to represent Christ to the world, but our independence, pride, and ego prevent us from becoming unified in the purposes of Christ.
Are you a catalyst for unity in His Body, or an instrument of division? Are people seeing Jesus because of the unity they see in your family, your church, and among your workers? The old adage, "United we stand, divided we fall," is not just a good battle cry; it is a spiritual truth that will determine the fate of many souls. Pray that God will allow you to be an instrument to unify His Body.
I in them and You in Me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me. - John 17:23
There have been certain breakthroughs in the world that have changed the course of history: electricity, the automobile, the atom, and the telephone, to name just a few. If we never recognized the applications of these inventions, we would still be sitting around in the dark, riding horses, and communicating by pony express. However, we have seen the opportunities and the applications, so the world is a different place now.
Jesus made a profound statement that has the potential to change the world if we simply apply the truth. What if I told you that this one truth would allow people to see Jesus and respond to the gospel like nothing we have ever experienced? It is the key to unlocking the door of salvation to so many that remain lost. Yet it is the one thing we, as His children, fail at the most.
What is this one thing? It is unity. Lack of unity among His Body of believers prevents Christ from being revealed to so many. Efforts have been made, but our Body remains fragmented and weak. Consider that there are more than 24,000 Christian denominations in the world today and five new ones beginning each week, according to the 1999 September issue of Moody Magazine. Does this sound like unity?
God has called each of us individually and corporately to represent Christ to the world, but our independence, pride, and ego prevent us from becoming unified in the purposes of Christ.
Are you a catalyst for unity in His Body, or an instrument of division? Are people seeing Jesus because of the unity they see in your family, your church, and among your workers? The old adage, "United we stand, divided we fall," is not just a good battle cry; it is a spiritual truth that will determine the fate of many souls. Pray that God will allow you to be an instrument to unify His Body.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Compulsory chemical intercourse in the mornings
Nescafe Intense with Milo.
10 am, Paperclip Communications.
Zombism invasion rescue potion: one satchet Nescafe 3-in-1 Intense and 1 heaped teaspoonful of Milo powder in a mug, to which hot water is added and the result stirred. Milk optional.
Ingest at leisure; feel the high quicker on an empty stomach. Otherwise include toast, biscuits, buns, or muffins...Anything that goes well with coffee.
Repeat at 3 pm if required.
Complement the bloodboiling stresses of working life with the adrenalin rush provoked by Nescafe Intense Milofee.
10 am, Paperclip Communications.
Zombism invasion rescue potion: one satchet Nescafe 3-in-1 Intense and 1 heaped teaspoonful of Milo powder in a mug, to which hot water is added and the result stirred. Milk optional.
Ingest at leisure; feel the high quicker on an empty stomach. Otherwise include toast, biscuits, buns, or muffins...Anything that goes well with coffee.
Repeat at 3 pm if required.
Complement the bloodboiling stresses of working life with the adrenalin rush provoked by Nescafe Intense Milofee.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Circumstancial Inconstancy May Have A Crisis Pattern
It's a 3-month cycle. Or at least it's appearing that way.
Maybe I am obsessed with the number 3 (no wait, I already am, but it's not an unhealthy obsession......yeah.)
Life is supposedly inconstant, meaning one is bound to experience crises, major change or at least undergo a period of serious self-reflection (or some life/mindset-changing experience) once in a while. The crux here is how long that "while" is.
For me, this momentous occurance seems to fall upon me every 3 months (at its shortest interval). Even stranger is this: the greater the apparent crisis, the larger the multiple of 3. It's rather uncanny, but I recall being hospitalised at around age 12 (Primary 6 or so) for a concussion. With one's brain shaken up like that, who doesn't suffer long-term trauma? I don't wonder why I'm wierd anymore, considering that. For all I know, my brain might have gotten its wiring messed up after that fall and being knocked about.
Following that, I had a really hard time in school at ages 15 and 18 as well. There was the whole Suicidal Classmate instigating Gang-Boycott (of me) Incident in Secondary 3, while in JC2, there was Mrs Leicester and her whole-hearted attempt to emotionally murder me. What memories.
What pain.
On hindsight, I wonder if I brought it all upon myself by behaving in a certain way that provoked so much hatred of me. But a part of me can never understand or accept such cruelty, inflicted by humans on humans. Emotional abuse is a nightmarish thing.
At age 21, I had another episode where neurosis/paranoia/depression took over and I believed that I was the victim of yet another boycott in Year 3 in University. Nobody wanted to work with me, speak with me, and I felt truly alone, ignored, unappreciated, disliked. I even went to the extent of asking people out of the blue if there were rumours about me flying around, damaging my reputation further in my cohort. And I seriously considered dropping out of Comm. Studies and abandoning my degree to pursue my true passions somewhere else, a place where my talents would be nurtured and recognised.
Now I'm 24, and I feel like a nutcase 3-feet into Quarter-Life Crisis, wading about trying to find filmer ground but always getting myself into deeper trouble, digging myself into a deeper grave.
See a pattern? Every 3 months, then 6 months, then 9 months, then 3 years...
OH MY FREAKING GAWD.
I need help.
Maybe I am obsessed with the number 3 (no wait, I already am, but it's not an unhealthy obsession......yeah.)
Life is supposedly inconstant, meaning one is bound to experience crises, major change or at least undergo a period of serious self-reflection (or some life/mindset-changing experience) once in a while. The crux here is how long that "while" is.
For me, this momentous occurance seems to fall upon me every 3 months (at its shortest interval). Even stranger is this: the greater the apparent crisis, the larger the multiple of 3. It's rather uncanny, but I recall being hospitalised at around age 12 (Primary 6 or so) for a concussion. With one's brain shaken up like that, who doesn't suffer long-term trauma? I don't wonder why I'm wierd anymore, considering that. For all I know, my brain might have gotten its wiring messed up after that fall and being knocked about.
Following that, I had a really hard time in school at ages 15 and 18 as well. There was the whole Suicidal Classmate instigating Gang-Boycott (of me) Incident in Secondary 3, while in JC2, there was Mrs Leicester and her whole-hearted attempt to emotionally murder me. What memories.
What pain.
On hindsight, I wonder if I brought it all upon myself by behaving in a certain way that provoked so much hatred of me. But a part of me can never understand or accept such cruelty, inflicted by humans on humans. Emotional abuse is a nightmarish thing.
At age 21, I had another episode where neurosis/paranoia/depression took over and I believed that I was the victim of yet another boycott in Year 3 in University. Nobody wanted to work with me, speak with me, and I felt truly alone, ignored, unappreciated, disliked. I even went to the extent of asking people out of the blue if there were rumours about me flying around, damaging my reputation further in my cohort. And I seriously considered dropping out of Comm. Studies and abandoning my degree to pursue my true passions somewhere else, a place where my talents would be nurtured and recognised.
Now I'm 24, and I feel like a nutcase 3-feet into Quarter-Life Crisis, wading about trying to find filmer ground but always getting myself into deeper trouble, digging myself into a deeper grave.
See a pattern? Every 3 months, then 6 months, then 9 months, then 3 years...
OH MY FREAKING GAWD.
I need help.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Stabbing around in the dark searching for a compass...
...and inevitably I impale myself.
Frankly, I am amazed by my own foolhardiness.
Stupidity, rashness, impulsiveness, insensitivity, inflexibility, wilfulness, stubborn-ness...what more?
Yes, I am simply operating on an automaton's level. Seems like both my IQ and my EQ have rotted beyond numerical definition. And I am ashamed at how I have fallen into this state of mental/intellectual/emotional numbness, like some dumb bimbo who doesn't have a hair's breadth of an idea what she's doing. Just alive, just alive, not living.
I cannot forget him. Too many people seem to have the same name, seem to have some similar facial features...what the hell. And I am going to let the other one down.
I really don't know what I'm doing with my life, where I'm going, and how I'm going to get anything vaguely resembling goal-fulfilment done. And when.
This is pathetic.
I broke down in tears in front of my boss today. He was going to fire me after one too many transgressions and I was ready to be fired. Suddenly the remorse and guilt took over, because I knew how good all these people are and how much they do like me, and how much I have let them down. So I cried like some weak little school-girl being reprimanded for her stupid narrow-minded shallow crimes, or like some petty criminal facing a few strokes of the cane.
I used to believe that I was stronger than this.
I used to believe that I knew what I wanted and where I was headed, and how I was going to achieve all that.
All it took to derail all this was you.
What the fuck.
At least wish me a happy birthday.
Frankly, I am amazed by my own foolhardiness.
Stupidity, rashness, impulsiveness, insensitivity, inflexibility, wilfulness, stubborn-ness...what more?
Yes, I am simply operating on an automaton's level. Seems like both my IQ and my EQ have rotted beyond numerical definition. And I am ashamed at how I have fallen into this state of mental/intellectual/emotional numbness, like some dumb bimbo who doesn't have a hair's breadth of an idea what she's doing. Just alive, just alive, not living.
I cannot forget him. Too many people seem to have the same name, seem to have some similar facial features...what the hell. And I am going to let the other one down.
I really don't know what I'm doing with my life, where I'm going, and how I'm going to get anything vaguely resembling goal-fulfilment done. And when.
This is pathetic.
I broke down in tears in front of my boss today. He was going to fire me after one too many transgressions and I was ready to be fired. Suddenly the remorse and guilt took over, because I knew how good all these people are and how much they do like me, and how much I have let them down. So I cried like some weak little school-girl being reprimanded for her stupid narrow-minded shallow crimes, or like some petty criminal facing a few strokes of the cane.
I used to believe that I was stronger than this.
I used to believe that I knew what I wanted and where I was headed, and how I was going to achieve all that.
All it took to derail all this was you.
What the fuck.
At least wish me a happy birthday.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Taxi Drivers: The Unnerving Species
Public transport can get really entertaining when you stand an unavoidable chance of having an intimate one-to-one interaction with a complete stranger.
Alright, I'll admit I'm spending way too much of my commuting time in cabs. Maybe I should have learnt how to drive or something, but that's just a digression from my topic for now.
Taxi Drivers. Service personnel of our esteemed public transport industry. A fascinating study of human behaviour. A complex blend of oddities. Love them, hate them, vent on them, ignore them, belittle them, fear them, respect them...what should we do?
There're the Sideliners who're anything from filial sons and ultra-supportive buddies to used-car salesmen, plumbers, air-con repairmen, insurance agents, contractors, shipyard-managers, Malaysian businessmen and even the odd bouncer or terrorist-lookalike. They try to offer you additional services outside of the cab-ride, during the cab-ride, as if dangling a bonus in front of your captive nose. Namecards shoved in your hands at traffic light stops, not-so-subtle speeches persuading you to become his new customer, nudging you to try him in times of need in the future...I try my best not to roll my eyes at these folk...but sometimes holding down or handling a dual-career gives interesting perspectives to life and makes these folk sources for rather good advice, if you ask the right questions. At best you get a good conversation throughout the course of the trip, at worst you become the receiving point of a long-winded, self-absorbed tirade.
There're the Mumblers, the silent ones who only utter monosyllables or barely audible questions. Very basic, yet master manipulators, these fellows can even utilise silence to their advantage. A long, inquiring, sometimes rather withering/offensive look through the rear-view mirror can mean a whole plethora of statements, including:
"So, where do you want to go?" or
"Now...are you going to put that sandwich away or do I have to verbally express my displeasure at your eating in my vehicle?" or
"I am not amused at your ability to put on make-up in a moving vehicle, and I'm going to try to make you mess up your eyebrow-drawing, so there, hyukhyukhyuk..." or
"When are you going to stop groping around for your money in the darkness back there and pay me the fare?"
I fairly appreciate the mumblers, because I do treasure some quiet time and a cabbie who understands the value of silence.
However, some are passive-aggressive, repressed, rather psychotic individuals who truly frighten the guts out of me. They drive like demons, probably imagining the roads as their personal Formula One race track, accelerating and braking so heavily the passenger stands a great risk of going green and giving back to the environment what was eaten an hour before. The worse thing is I'm a sucker for motion sickness and can go car-sick without warning, so I have a rather healthy phobia of these Angry Mumblers. These fellows need some kind of hotline, an Angry Cabbies Anonymous or something. Whatever's causing them so much pent-up frustration has got to be let out in better ways than stomping on the brakes and the accelerator, making reckless curves, overtaking dangerously, being a general road and passenger bully, and swearing under one's breath.
A rather frightening example I encountered recently was a really old dude who was dressed in a garish windbreaker which hid his rather shrunken bony frame. He may have looked aged and frail, with the complimenting cough and all, but boy, was his driving aggressive! My colleagues and I had to distract ourselves from the constant rush of impending terror by chattering mindlessly about our pets...what a roller-coaster that was.
Then again, there's also the Reverse-Agony-Cabbie.
One thing I must say: there're really nice, amicable taxi-drivers out there who really do seem to care and are willing to lend a listening ear to our complaints...even offering priceless advice sometimes. I'm glad to say I've met these more than once, though very rarely...Sincere, honest individuals who do seem to like their jobs and their lives and won't mind offering an alternative opinion or perspective on a certain problematic situation, constructive or otherwise. These can make your day, really.
The Reverse-Agony-Cabbie a.k.a Whiners, on the other hand, can seriously break your day. These fellows are absolutely craving for Agony Aunties, possibly desperately waiting for the next vulnerable empathetic/sympathetic female individual to come along and take their cab. Then they make some lame excuse of a conversation starter and launch into their endless symphony of complaints, grouses, frustrations, and general whinging. And you end up a helpless, exasperated captive audience, slowly but steadily getting tainted by the tidal waves of general sourness, frustrations, and unhappiness with life. Oh the horror.
There're probably more species of cabbies, like the Lechers and the Overly-Friendly Enthusiasts, but I guess the above suffices for now...more later, perhaps.
Alright, I'll admit I'm spending way too much of my commuting time in cabs. Maybe I should have learnt how to drive or something, but that's just a digression from my topic for now.
Taxi Drivers. Service personnel of our esteemed public transport industry. A fascinating study of human behaviour. A complex blend of oddities. Love them, hate them, vent on them, ignore them, belittle them, fear them, respect them...what should we do?
There're the Sideliners who're anything from filial sons and ultra-supportive buddies to used-car salesmen, plumbers, air-con repairmen, insurance agents, contractors, shipyard-managers, Malaysian businessmen and even the odd bouncer or terrorist-lookalike. They try to offer you additional services outside of the cab-ride, during the cab-ride, as if dangling a bonus in front of your captive nose. Namecards shoved in your hands at traffic light stops, not-so-subtle speeches persuading you to become his new customer, nudging you to try him in times of need in the future...I try my best not to roll my eyes at these folk...but sometimes holding down or handling a dual-career gives interesting perspectives to life and makes these folk sources for rather good advice, if you ask the right questions. At best you get a good conversation throughout the course of the trip, at worst you become the receiving point of a long-winded, self-absorbed tirade.
There're the Mumblers, the silent ones who only utter monosyllables or barely audible questions. Very basic, yet master manipulators, these fellows can even utilise silence to their advantage. A long, inquiring, sometimes rather withering/offensive look through the rear-view mirror can mean a whole plethora of statements, including:
"So, where do you want to go?" or
"Now...are you going to put that sandwich away or do I have to verbally express my displeasure at your eating in my vehicle?" or
"I am not amused at your ability to put on make-up in a moving vehicle, and I'm going to try to make you mess up your eyebrow-drawing, so there, hyukhyukhyuk..." or
"When are you going to stop groping around for your money in the darkness back there and pay me the fare?"
I fairly appreciate the mumblers, because I do treasure some quiet time and a cabbie who understands the value of silence.
However, some are passive-aggressive, repressed, rather psychotic individuals who truly frighten the guts out of me. They drive like demons, probably imagining the roads as their personal Formula One race track, accelerating and braking so heavily the passenger stands a great risk of going green and giving back to the environment what was eaten an hour before. The worse thing is I'm a sucker for motion sickness and can go car-sick without warning, so I have a rather healthy phobia of these Angry Mumblers. These fellows need some kind of hotline, an Angry Cabbies Anonymous or something. Whatever's causing them so much pent-up frustration has got to be let out in better ways than stomping on the brakes and the accelerator, making reckless curves, overtaking dangerously, being a general road and passenger bully, and swearing under one's breath.
A rather frightening example I encountered recently was a really old dude who was dressed in a garish windbreaker which hid his rather shrunken bony frame. He may have looked aged and frail, with the complimenting cough and all, but boy, was his driving aggressive! My colleagues and I had to distract ourselves from the constant rush of impending terror by chattering mindlessly about our pets...what a roller-coaster that was.
Then again, there's also the Reverse-Agony-Cabbie.
One thing I must say: there're really nice, amicable taxi-drivers out there who really do seem to care and are willing to lend a listening ear to our complaints...even offering priceless advice sometimes. I'm glad to say I've met these more than once, though very rarely...Sincere, honest individuals who do seem to like their jobs and their lives and won't mind offering an alternative opinion or perspective on a certain problematic situation, constructive or otherwise. These can make your day, really.
The Reverse-Agony-Cabbie a.k.a Whiners, on the other hand, can seriously break your day. These fellows are absolutely craving for Agony Aunties, possibly desperately waiting for the next vulnerable empathetic/sympathetic female individual to come along and take their cab. Then they make some lame excuse of a conversation starter and launch into their endless symphony of complaints, grouses, frustrations, and general whinging. And you end up a helpless, exasperated captive audience, slowly but steadily getting tainted by the tidal waves of general sourness, frustrations, and unhappiness with life. Oh the horror.
There're probably more species of cabbies, like the Lechers and the Overly-Friendly Enthusiasts, but I guess the above suffices for now...more later, perhaps.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Pretty Much Lost
When you live in the moment, savouring everything in the now, living life by the day, intensely, passionately, you stand the risk of becoming really short-sighted about the actual length and breadth of life, isn't it?
I'm not advocating astute foresight, clairvoyance or being always anal about planning ahead. I'm just wondering if our devoted inclinations towards acts of impulse, our tendency to want a quick high out of short-term experiences, and our perennial need to benefit from any situation quickly, is eventually going to turn us into self-destructive, thoughtless, hedonistic automatons. Is that not an insult to the significance in being alive? And worse, by forgetting, or simply not trying, to find meaning, truth, and real happiness in life, are we letting ourselves degenerate into something less human, even?
Previously, when I had more time to ponder over my future and develop a vision of my long-term goals, I became overwrought about how difficult it would be to realise my dreams, and therefore lapsed into a rather devious, vicious cycle of compromise - one could certainly see it as self-defeatism, pessimism, cowardice, procrastination, plus a lack of drive and motivation to get down to it. I was just not willing to throw all else out the window and sacrifice it all, maximising suffering to achieve results which will always be clouded with uncertainty. I could not devote myself to my own cause.
I cannot devote myself to my own cause.
Is this a rather extreme state of low self-esteem, with self-destructive tendencies heaped on for good measure, or an enlightened state of consciousness where I know selflessness is the key to real happiness? Or is this a rather warped state of self-absorption, really?
Presently, my work possesses me, and it seems that I have found some kind of wholesome fulfillment in this whole experience (my greatest fear is that it may not last very long before some tragedy befalls me and it all has to end) which is strongly nudging me to alter myself to better myself. All of a sudden it seems imperative for me to solve my own greatest problem - myself.
So I need to set new personal goals, which, though not completely incongruent to those since-discarded dreams, visions, or long-term goals (perhaps not so much discard as disregarded, I guess), are exhausting in their demands on me. And these new goals will serve as obstacles on the path towards growth and development in life ahead.
I'm tired enough to want to stop being in the near-constant state of self-reflection I used to be in. That was where everything in life, all experiences, could be rationalised, analysed, philosophised on. Right now it seems I operate only on a certain level of consciousness, shallower, less introspective, taking on whatever circumstances throw in my face.
I used to only live in the past or the future. Always ruminating on possibilities and regrets. There was always some vision to look forward to, vague and un-reachable in the distance, yet fascinating, always worth more thought, more thought.
Now, I live in the present. In the moment. And it seems I've stopped thinking so much. All those visions of the future have disappeared into a blank void, creating a strange, serene uneasiness in my psyche.
I feel lost.
I'm not advocating astute foresight, clairvoyance or being always anal about planning ahead. I'm just wondering if our devoted inclinations towards acts of impulse, our tendency to want a quick high out of short-term experiences, and our perennial need to benefit from any situation quickly, is eventually going to turn us into self-destructive, thoughtless, hedonistic automatons. Is that not an insult to the significance in being alive? And worse, by forgetting, or simply not trying, to find meaning, truth, and real happiness in life, are we letting ourselves degenerate into something less human, even?
Previously, when I had more time to ponder over my future and develop a vision of my long-term goals, I became overwrought about how difficult it would be to realise my dreams, and therefore lapsed into a rather devious, vicious cycle of compromise - one could certainly see it as self-defeatism, pessimism, cowardice, procrastination, plus a lack of drive and motivation to get down to it. I was just not willing to throw all else out the window and sacrifice it all, maximising suffering to achieve results which will always be clouded with uncertainty. I could not devote myself to my own cause.
I cannot devote myself to my own cause.
Is this a rather extreme state of low self-esteem, with self-destructive tendencies heaped on for good measure, or an enlightened state of consciousness where I know selflessness is the key to real happiness? Or is this a rather warped state of self-absorption, really?
Presently, my work possesses me, and it seems that I have found some kind of wholesome fulfillment in this whole experience (my greatest fear is that it may not last very long before some tragedy befalls me and it all has to end) which is strongly nudging me to alter myself to better myself. All of a sudden it seems imperative for me to solve my own greatest problem - myself.
So I need to set new personal goals, which, though not completely incongruent to those since-discarded dreams, visions, or long-term goals (perhaps not so much discard as disregarded, I guess), are exhausting in their demands on me. And these new goals will serve as obstacles on the path towards growth and development in life ahead.
I'm tired enough to want to stop being in the near-constant state of self-reflection I used to be in. That was where everything in life, all experiences, could be rationalised, analysed, philosophised on. Right now it seems I operate only on a certain level of consciousness, shallower, less introspective, taking on whatever circumstances throw in my face.
I used to only live in the past or the future. Always ruminating on possibilities and regrets. There was always some vision to look forward to, vague and un-reachable in the distance, yet fascinating, always worth more thought, more thought.
Now, I live in the present. In the moment. And it seems I've stopped thinking so much. All those visions of the future have disappeared into a blank void, creating a strange, serene uneasiness in my psyche.
I feel lost.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Eyebrow-raising activities on my dead-end street Part 2
I live on a dead-end street.
It's dark and looks ominous at night.
Stumpy unidentifiable trees line the sides of this dead-end street.
Bats live in these trees and live happily off their fruit.
This dead-end street attracts some drivers to indulge in illegal parking.
I guess they think it's safe and unnoticeable.
Well, just parking your cars on our dead-end street is acceptable. Barely, though.
The residents here (the neighbours and my family) aren't mean enough to scratch warning messages on your cars or get them wheel-clamped or towed.
But still, the street itself can be considered our collective private property; even the church next door needs to get our mass approval before their congregational members get to park here.
Anyway, we'll shut one eye to the strange cars left parked there from time to time.
Additional activities, though, get attention, folks.
I know we live in a rather straight-laced society and doing anything naughty is really really exciting.
Plus in this case you throw in the danger factor of being caught.
It's illegal to tint car windows in Singapore, isn't it, so there isn't much privacy to consider when you stop your vehicle and indulge in some hanky panky.
If it's in the dead of night, say 2 a.m., well, yeah, it's probably fine, if you park in a dark and shadowed spot. The probability rate of you getting spotted by anyone walking by is really low.
But in broad daylight at 9 a.m.?!
Isn't it just gawdamn uncomfortable to engage in oral sex in the front seats? You've got so many things in the way...handbrake, gearstick, armrest, etc...
And parked right next to a church, too.
Do we pity the blowjob-giver here, admire the couple's sheer bravado, or despise them for shamelessness?
Just my luck for bumping into this scenario twice.
It's dark and looks ominous at night.
Stumpy unidentifiable trees line the sides of this dead-end street.
Bats live in these trees and live happily off their fruit.
This dead-end street attracts some drivers to indulge in illegal parking.
I guess they think it's safe and unnoticeable.
Well, just parking your cars on our dead-end street is acceptable. Barely, though.
The residents here (the neighbours and my family) aren't mean enough to scratch warning messages on your cars or get them wheel-clamped or towed.
But still, the street itself can be considered our collective private property; even the church next door needs to get our mass approval before their congregational members get to park here.
Anyway, we'll shut one eye to the strange cars left parked there from time to time.
Additional activities, though, get attention, folks.
I know we live in a rather straight-laced society and doing anything naughty is really really exciting.
Plus in this case you throw in the danger factor of being caught.
It's illegal to tint car windows in Singapore, isn't it, so there isn't much privacy to consider when you stop your vehicle and indulge in some hanky panky.
If it's in the dead of night, say 2 a.m., well, yeah, it's probably fine, if you park in a dark and shadowed spot. The probability rate of you getting spotted by anyone walking by is really low.
But in broad daylight at 9 a.m.?!
Isn't it just gawdamn uncomfortable to engage in oral sex in the front seats? You've got so many things in the way...handbrake, gearstick, armrest, etc...
And parked right next to a church, too.
Do we pity the blowjob-giver here, admire the couple's sheer bravado, or despise them for shamelessness?
Just my luck for bumping into this scenario twice.
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