Circumstancial Inconstancy May Have A Crisis Pattern

It's a 3-month cycle. Or at least it's appearing that way.

Maybe I am obsessed with the number 3 (no wait, I already am, but it's not an unhealthy obsession......yeah.)

Life is supposedly inconstant, meaning one is bound to experience crises, major change or at least undergo a period of serious self-reflection (or some life/mindset-changing experience) once in a while. The crux here is how long that "while" is.

For me, this momentous occurance seems to fall upon me every 3 months (at its shortest interval). Even stranger is this: the greater the apparent crisis, the larger the multiple of 3. It's rather uncanny, but I recall being hospitalised at around age 12 (Primary 6 or so) for a concussion. With one's brain shaken up like that, who doesn't suffer long-term trauma? I don't wonder why I'm wierd anymore, considering that. For all I know, my brain might have gotten its wiring messed up after that fall and being knocked about.

Following that, I had a really hard time in school at ages 15 and 18 as well. There was the whole Suicidal Classmate instigating Gang-Boycott (of me) Incident in Secondary 3, while in JC2, there was Mrs Leicester and her whole-hearted attempt to emotionally murder me. What memories.
What pain.

On hindsight, I wonder if I brought it all upon myself by behaving in a certain way that provoked so much hatred of me. But a part of me can never understand or accept such cruelty, inflicted by humans on humans. Emotional abuse is a nightmarish thing.

At age 21, I had another episode where neurosis/paranoia/depression took over and I believed that I was the victim of yet another boycott in Year 3 in University. Nobody wanted to work with me, speak with me, and I felt truly alone, ignored, unappreciated, disliked. I even went to the extent of asking people out of the blue if there were rumours about me flying around, damaging my reputation further in my cohort. And I seriously considered dropping out of Comm. Studies and abandoning my degree to pursue my true passions somewhere else, a place where my talents would be nurtured and recognised.

Now I'm 24, and I feel like a nutcase 3-feet into Quarter-Life Crisis, wading about trying to find filmer ground but always getting myself into deeper trouble, digging myself into a deeper grave.

See a pattern? Every 3 months, then 6 months, then 9 months, then 3 years...

OH MY FREAKING GAWD.

I need help.