Circumstancial Inconstancy May Have A Crisis Pattern

It's a 3-month cycle. Or at least it's appearing that way.

Maybe I am obsessed with the number 3 (no wait, I already am, but it's not an unhealthy obsession......yeah.)

Life is supposedly inconstant, meaning one is bound to experience crises, major change or at least undergo a period of serious self-reflection (or some life/mindset-changing experience) once in a while. The crux here is how long that "while" is.

For me, this momentous occurance seems to fall upon me every 3 months (at its shortest interval). Even stranger is this: the greater the apparent crisis, the larger the multiple of 3. It's rather uncanny, but I recall being hospitalised at around age 12 (Primary 6 or so) for a concussion. With one's brain shaken up like that, who doesn't suffer long-term trauma? I don't wonder why I'm wierd anymore, considering that. For all I know, my brain might have gotten its wiring messed up after that fall and being knocked about.

Following that, I had a really hard time in school at ages 15 and 18 as well. There was the whole Suicidal Classmate instigating Gang-Boycott (of me) Incident in Secondary 3, while in JC2, there was Mrs Leicester and her whole-hearted attempt to emotionally murder me. What memories.
What pain.

On hindsight, I wonder if I brought it all upon myself by behaving in a certain way that provoked so much hatred of me. But a part of me can never understand or accept such cruelty, inflicted by humans on humans. Emotional abuse is a nightmarish thing.

At age 21, I had another episode where neurosis/paranoia/depression took over and I believed that I was the victim of yet another boycott in Year 3 in University. Nobody wanted to work with me, speak with me, and I felt truly alone, ignored, unappreciated, disliked. I even went to the extent of asking people out of the blue if there were rumours about me flying around, damaging my reputation further in my cohort. And I seriously considered dropping out of Comm. Studies and abandoning my degree to pursue my true passions somewhere else, a place where my talents would be nurtured and recognised.

Now I'm 24, and I feel like a nutcase 3-feet into Quarter-Life Crisis, wading about trying to find filmer ground but always getting myself into deeper trouble, digging myself into a deeper grave.

See a pattern? Every 3 months, then 6 months, then 9 months, then 3 years...

OH MY FREAKING GAWD.

I need help.

Stabbing around in the dark searching for a compass...

...and inevitably I impale myself.

Frankly, I am amazed by my own foolhardiness.

Stupidity, rashness, impulsiveness, insensitivity, inflexibility, wilfulness, stubborn-ness...what more?

Yes, I am simply operating on an automaton's level. Seems like both my IQ and my EQ have rotted beyond numerical definition. And I am ashamed at how I have fallen into this state of mental/intellectual/emotional numbness, like some dumb bimbo who doesn't have a hair's breadth of an idea what she's doing. Just alive, just alive, not living.

I cannot forget him. Too many people seem to have the same name, seem to have some similar facial features...what the hell. And I am going to let the other one down.

I really don't know what I'm doing with my life, where I'm going, and how I'm going to get anything vaguely resembling goal-fulfilment done. And when.

This is pathetic.

I broke down in tears in front of my boss today. He was going to fire me after one too many transgressions and I was ready to be fired. Suddenly the remorse and guilt took over, because I knew how good all these people are and how much they do like me, and how much I have let them down. So I cried like some weak little school-girl being reprimanded for her stupid narrow-minded shallow crimes, or like some petty criminal facing a few strokes of the cane.

I used to believe that I was stronger than this.

I used to believe that I knew what I wanted and where I was headed, and how I was going to achieve all that.

All it took to derail all this was you.

What the fuck.

At least wish me a happy birthday.

Taxi Drivers: The Unnerving Species

Public transport can get really entertaining when you stand an unavoidable chance of having an intimate one-to-one interaction with a complete stranger.

Alright, I'll admit I'm spending way too much of my commuting time in cabs. Maybe I should have learnt how to drive or something, but that's just a digression from my topic for now.

Taxi Drivers. Service personnel of our esteemed public transport industry. A fascinating study of human behaviour. A complex blend of oddities. Love them, hate them, vent on them, ignore them, belittle them, fear them, respect them...what should we do?

There're the Sideliners who're anything from filial sons and ultra-supportive buddies to used-car salesmen, plumbers, air-con repairmen, insurance agents, contractors, shipyard-managers, Malaysian businessmen and even the odd bouncer or terrorist-lookalike. They try to offer you additional services outside of the cab-ride, during the cab-ride, as if dangling a bonus in front of your captive nose. Namecards shoved in your hands at traffic light stops, not-so-subtle speeches persuading you to become his new customer, nudging you to try him in times of need in the future...I try my best not to roll my eyes at these folk...but sometimes holding down or handling a dual-career gives interesting perspectives to life and makes these folk sources for rather good advice, if you ask the right questions. At best you get a good conversation throughout the course of the trip, at worst you become the receiving point of a long-winded, self-absorbed tirade.

There're the Mumblers, the silent ones who only utter monosyllables or barely audible questions. Very basic, yet master manipulators, these fellows can even utilise silence to their advantage. A long, inquiring, sometimes rather withering/offensive look through the rear-view mirror can mean a whole plethora of statements, including:
"So, where do you want to go?" or
"Now...are you going to put that sandwich away or do I have to verbally express my displeasure at your eating in my vehicle?" or
"I am not amused at your ability to put on make-up in a moving vehicle, and I'm going to try to make you mess up your eyebrow-drawing, so there, hyukhyukhyuk..." or
"When are you going to stop groping around for your money in the darkness back there and pay me the fare?"
I fairly appreciate the mumblers, because I do treasure some quiet time and a cabbie who understands the value of silence.

However, some are passive-aggressive, repressed, rather psychotic individuals who truly frighten the guts out of me. They drive like demons, probably imagining the roads as their personal Formula One race track, accelerating and braking so heavily the passenger stands a great risk of going green and giving back to the environment what was eaten an hour before. The worse thing is I'm a sucker for motion sickness and can go car-sick without warning, so I have a rather healthy phobia of these Angry Mumblers. These fellows need some kind of hotline, an Angry Cabbies Anonymous or something. Whatever's causing them so much pent-up frustration has got to be let out in better ways than stomping on the brakes and the accelerator, making reckless curves, overtaking dangerously, being a general road and passenger bully, and swearing under one's breath.

A rather frightening example I encountered recently was a really old dude who was dressed in a garish windbreaker which hid his rather shrunken bony frame. He may have looked aged and frail, with the complimenting cough and all, but boy, was his driving aggressive! My colleagues and I had to distract ourselves from the constant rush of impending terror by chattering mindlessly about our pets...what a roller-coaster that was.

Then again, there's also the Reverse-Agony-Cabbie.

One thing I must say: there're really nice, amicable taxi-drivers out there who really do seem to care and are willing to lend a listening ear to our complaints...even offering priceless advice sometimes. I'm glad to say I've met these more than once, though very rarely...Sincere, honest individuals who do seem to like their jobs and their lives and won't mind offering an alternative opinion or perspective on a certain problematic situation, constructive or otherwise. These can make your day, really.

The Reverse-Agony-Cabbie a.k.a Whiners, on the other hand, can seriously break your day. These fellows are absolutely craving for Agony Aunties, possibly desperately waiting for the next vulnerable empathetic/sympathetic female individual to come along and take their cab. Then they make some lame excuse of a conversation starter and launch into their endless symphony of complaints, grouses, frustrations, and general whinging. And you end up a helpless, exasperated captive audience, slowly but steadily getting tainted by the tidal waves of general sourness, frustrations, and unhappiness with life. Oh the horror.

There're probably more species of cabbies, like the Lechers and the Overly-Friendly Enthusiasts, but I guess the above suffices for now...more later, perhaps.

Pretty Much Lost

When you live in the moment, savouring everything in the now, living life by the day, intensely, passionately, you stand the risk of becoming really short-sighted about the actual length and breadth of life, isn't it?

I'm not advocating astute foresight, clairvoyance or being always anal about planning ahead. I'm just wondering if our devoted inclinations towards acts of impulse, our tendency to want a quick high out of short-term experiences, and our perennial need to benefit from any situation quickly, is eventually going to turn us into self-destructive, thoughtless, hedonistic automatons. Is that not an insult to the significance in being alive? And worse, by forgetting, or simply not trying, to find meaning, truth, and real happiness in life, are we letting ourselves degenerate into something less human, even?

Previously, when I had more time to ponder over my future and develop a vision of my long-term goals, I became overwrought about how difficult it would be to realise my dreams, and therefore lapsed into a rather devious, vicious cycle of compromise - one could certainly see it as self-defeatism, pessimism, cowardice, procrastination, plus a lack of drive and motivation to get down to it. I was just not willing to throw all else out the window and sacrifice it all, maximising suffering to achieve results which will always be clouded with uncertainty. I could not devote myself to my own cause.

I cannot devote myself to my own cause.

Is this a rather extreme state of low self-esteem, with self-destructive tendencies heaped on for good measure, or an enlightened state of consciousness where I know selflessness is the key to real happiness? Or is this a rather warped state of self-absorption, really?

Presently, my work possesses me, and it seems that I have found some kind of wholesome fulfillment in this whole experience (my greatest fear is that it may not last very long before some tragedy befalls me and it all has to end) which is strongly nudging me to alter myself to better myself. All of a sudden it seems imperative for me to solve my own greatest problem - myself.

So I need to set new personal goals, which, though not completely incongruent to those since-discarded dreams, visions, or long-term goals (perhaps not so much discard as disregarded, I guess), are exhausting in their demands on me. And these new goals will serve as obstacles on the path towards growth and development in life ahead.

I'm tired enough to want to stop being in the near-constant state of self-reflection I used to be in. That was where everything in life, all experiences, could be rationalised, analysed, philosophised on. Right now it seems I operate only on a certain level of consciousness, shallower, less introspective, taking on whatever circumstances throw in my face.

I used to only live in the past or the future. Always ruminating on possibilities and regrets. There was always some vision to look forward to, vague and un-reachable in the distance, yet fascinating, always worth more thought, more thought.

Now, I live in the present. In the moment. And it seems I've stopped thinking so much. All those visions of the future have disappeared into a blank void, creating a strange, serene uneasiness in my psyche.

I feel lost.

Eyebrow-raising activities on my dead-end street Part 2

I live on a dead-end street.
It's dark and looks ominous at night.
Stumpy unidentifiable trees line the sides of this dead-end street.
Bats live in these trees and live happily off their fruit.

This dead-end street attracts some drivers to indulge in illegal parking.
I guess they think it's safe and unnoticeable.

Well, just parking your cars on our dead-end street is acceptable. Barely, though.
The residents here (the neighbours and my family) aren't mean enough to scratch warning messages on your cars or get them wheel-clamped or towed.
But still, the street itself can be considered our collective private property; even the church next door needs to get our mass approval before their congregational members get to park here.

Anyway, we'll shut one eye to the strange cars left parked there from time to time.

Additional activities, though, get attention, folks.
I know we live in a rather straight-laced society and doing anything naughty is really really exciting.
Plus in this case you throw in the danger factor of being caught.
It's illegal to tint car windows in Singapore, isn't it, so there isn't much privacy to consider when you stop your vehicle and indulge in some hanky panky.
If it's in the dead of night, say 2 a.m., well, yeah, it's probably fine, if you park in a dark and shadowed spot. The probability rate of you getting spotted by anyone walking by is really low.
But in broad daylight at 9 a.m.?!

Isn't it just gawdamn uncomfortable to engage in oral sex in the front seats? You've got so many things in the way...handbrake, gearstick, armrest, etc...

And parked right next to a church, too.

Do we pity the blowjob-giver here, admire the couple's sheer bravado, or despise them for shamelessness?

Just my luck for bumping into this scenario twice.

Eyebrow-raising activities on my dead-end street Part 1

QBJs in the front seat! Contortionistic Stunts! Free show for all to see!

(Stay tuned for Part 2, folks! Not to be missed!!!) *woot*

Content on MSN.com is actually readable, even...addictive?!

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=4533&menuid=1&lid=428&ER=sessiontimeout

http://women.msn.com/relationshipsindex.armx

http://women.msn.com/160458.armx

I even like MSN Today... geez!!! Whatever happened to reading quality content online (and offline)?

You know, heavy, intellectual, current affairs-oriented newsy stuff, like...

http://today.reuters.com/news/default.aspx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/?ok

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/

http://www.economist.com/index.html?uviewed=3

http://www.time.com/time/

Or stuff that one finds relevant to career development and the acquisition of more knowledge, post-university corporate world information, the like...

http://hbswk.hbs.edu/index.jhtml

http://www.darwinmag.com/

http://www.entrepreneur.com/

http://startup.wsj.com/

http://www.marketingprofs.com/

We just don't have the time to read anymore, do we?
I've been stuck in Malcolm Gladwell's Blink for ages, and this other book, The One Minute Millionaire, by Mark Victor Hansen & Robert Allen, for even longer. Not that I dislike the 2 books...it's just slow going! This coming from someone who devoured The Lord of the Rings in its entirety (Fellowship of the Ring, Two Towers, Return of the King, and the Appendices) within a few days (less than a week, for sure), The Silmarillion within 3 days, and most other books within a few hours (thicker ones go up to a day at the most).

Maybe it's tougher to read on the computer. Maybe non-fiction is more difficult to read continuously, and tends to be easier to take up and put down. Maybe The Working Life just doesn't allow the time and energy for reading - and I'm talking about the meaningful, constructive, brain-feeding, truly enjoyable kind of reading that only bookworms can understand. Maybe it's age!

Or there's just too much entertaining, attractive, useless, trivial crap out there that just hooks you in and gets you to waste time reading bullshit...just for mental recreation, just to let your brain relax in the embrace of trashy news and utterly forgettable information...

I don't know. Am I just being neurotic and anal, now?

I am disappointed, though, that Mediacorp Publishing has acquired Elle Magazine. It's the only female magazine that I bother buying & keeping...if the content quality drops then, well, there's no more hope!

Here's the article:

Marketing Weekly, 31 August 2005

MediaCorp Publishing takes control
By Clarice Chiam

Singapore - MediaCorp Publishing (“MPB”) has acquired Hachette MediaCorp (“HMPL”) in a move that will see MPB publishing Elle Singapore under licence from Hachette Filipacchi Presse S.A directly.

MPB released a statement saying it decided to do away with the original joint venture between itself and Hachette Filipacchi Presse S.A in a bid to “respond better to the magazine’s reader and advertiser’s needs” as it will handle all aspects of publishing from content creation to marketing and distribution.

“The acquisition of HMPL is in-line with our strategic plans to streamline our corporate structure as we expand into the region,” said Philip Koh, CEO of MediaCorp Publishing. MPB also holds the licence to publish the Malaysian edition of Elle.

New Job

Rather slow news, am afraid! But who reads this crap, anyway?!

Made a really fast job-switch on the 25th Aug, leaping from MICE(Meetings, Incentives, Conventions & Exhibitions, oh what a relief to say tata to all that long-winded hogwash!!!) into Publishing.

(It feels like a right move back towards the creative industries, although still a different environment from advertising. A constructive, positive, motivating career move for yours truly. Hopefully!!!)

Must say I pulled a really speedy hat-trick for this whole episode; making up my mind to quit the current job, job-hunting, going for interviews without being obvious about it, succeeding, getting the offer, agreeing, resigning (it was a shocker to one of my bosses - had to suffer his shocked shriek over the phone), and doing handover...all in a matter of one month or so.

...And in the midst of all this, organising the last - probably the most memorable - networking event I would do for SACEOS... Schmoozing/grovelling with the potential and new members (to recruit them, of course - oh how dedicated I was to the recuitment cause for an utterly shitty association - until my last day I was still worrying about the membership stuff)... Juggling a social life, friends, family...
And trying - eventually failing, though it was not due to my being preoccupied with work or my bad time-management (but then, it just isn't so simple, is it? I'm suggesting something rather unfair) - to maintain a relationship with someone who was almost, but never completely, there for me.

Can't blame him, really. To be objective, circumstances broke us, and perhaps we were just not meant to be. There were so many issues that still remain unresolved, but I have to move on. I still wonder about how self-centredness/a lack of selflessness marked it all, or could have made it better or worse. So many tough questions that may never find answers. Questions about respect, trust, intimacy, honesty, religion, family-issues, communication, life perspectives, self-awareness, understanding each other...I probably made some mistakes I've made before and some new ones too, some of which I regret, others not at all. We were equal and yet disparate, similar and yet different; our being together was right and yet wrong, good and also bad... it also ended, though amicably, without real closure. (My fault, that.) Yet despite the worry/pain/sorrow/misery and all that post-breakup shit, despite it being so short-lived, he was worth it, somehow. Yet I've never been able to figure out how exactly he was worth it...still can't. *shrug* Now you can all accuse me of thinking too much, yes. I cannot escape this rather pathetic mental activity, though. I'm a brooder. (Doesn't that sound like a bird-like thing to do? ;p)

Thus, I departed without ceremony (only a rather uncomfortable, even unpleasant Pizza-Hut Delivery farewell lunch...the triple-cheese stuffed crust pizza was awesome, though! Highly recommended for cheese-lovers.) from www.saceos.org.sg (That damn lengthy organisation name shalt plague me no more!!! Now they can self-destruct and rot for all I care. Suckers. In every sense of the word! *grimace*) and made my entrance into www.paperclip.com.sg (Just by comparing the 2 websites, you can see the difference in the identity and culture in these 2 organisations. Says a lot.)

After more than one week, all I can say is: "Yeah!"
A much better place to work, kinder bosses, fun-loving colleagues...it feels almost surreal to get this lucky. It's quite close to a dream job in my book, but then again my standards are pretty off-the-mark from what most people may label as "benchmarks for a dream job" anyway.

I have to thank God for this, I know. :D

In other news: I'm doing a series of collaborative artwork with Shaun Ee/Doodle of Garden Silly - www.eeshaun.com - fame to print on t-shirts for www.nakedwhine.com. More updates soon!

How are you doing, though? Let me know.

C.S. Lewis makes sense.

"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal." - The Problem of Pain

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. " - The Four Loves

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/C._S._Lewis
http://www.philosophyofreligion.info/lewis.html

Now a must-read in the near future!!!

The Question that Won't Go Away

What made you change your mind in just one week?

DCT: Egression

Temporal muse
Whose presence evoked a tempest of unspoken emotions
Farewell
I will always remember the fiery intensity of this inspiration.


Light that becalmed my living sorrows
Shielding, ceasing the headlong rush towards self-destruction
Farewell
I will always remember the rapture, the warmth, of your embrace.

The 5 Languages of Love

http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=lovelanguages (Quiz)

http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=5lovelanguages (Quiz)

http://www.valleypresbyterian.org/curriculum/family_issues/LoveLang.htm (Christian study)
http://www.thefairkingdom.com/conservatory/couples/languages.html (Overview)

http://www.christianwomanspage.org/ll.asp (Women-oriented)


An Overview of Love Languages
By Natalie Nyquist

Can't you picture it? You return after a few days away from home, and little siblings rush to meet you. One smothers you in hugs and kisses, another jumping up and down asking if you brought her anything. Your father takes your coat and bag upstairs, while mom tells you she missed you and is so glad you are home.

Demonstrated in this common scene are four very different ways of showing love.

Understanding your friends' and family's love languages can be very helpful as you seek to serve and love them. For me, it has been encouraging to see that, while I have a different love language than everyone else in my family, because I understand what they need, I can serve my dad and spend time with my brothers, therefore showing them love in a way they can easily understand.

If you've ever felt “unloved”, it may be because your loved ones are not showing love in a way you easily see, but recognizing the various ways of expressing love is a tremendous help. Christ alone perfectly loves each of us and fulfills every need we have for acceptance and understanding. May our goal be to love as He has.

1. Words of Affirmation
We all like to hear an encouraging word now and then, but some people need that “I love you” on a daily basis. This doesn't necessarily mean that they have a low self-esteem, though that is a common misconception. Quite simply, words of endearment and praise are as vital to some people as water and bread. I know that for me, having someone tell me “I love you,” is just about the best thing in the world. :-) This is definitely my love language. Hearing encouragement, promises of loyalty, love, and, as the title suggests, affirmation of your character, talents etc. is essential. For those of you who are the “Words of Love” type, you probably give this love more than you receive it. Perhaps you like to talk things through thoroughly and analyze conflicts down to the bone, much to the dismay of the other types, who would just as soon put the situation behind them without spending an hour discussing it. :-) Remember if you are feeling unloved, that all the affirmation you can ever need is found in the Bible. There should be more than enough passages of love and loyalty to lift you up. :-) The key to showing love to this type of person is to say the assumed, even if you think it is a given. The people who long to hear “I love you,” and “I'm proud of you,” will be amazingly encouraged by those simple words.

2. Physical Touch
Know an adorable little girl who thrives on cuddles and hugs? Or perhaps you are the type of person who needs that goodnight hug and kiss from your parents. My brothers have learned to endure my hugs, my ruffling their hair. Just by their allowing it they demonstrate their love for me, even as I show them my love. For the people in your life who enjoy that hug or hand squeeze, make a special effort to show them you love them in the way they can most easily recognize. Whether its the three-year-old you teach in Sunday School or an older sibling, physical touch is one of the best ways to show Christ's love. Remember 1 Cor. 13 and keep your heart and motives pure.

3. Acts of Service
I need not expound to you the significance and necessity of serving the Body of Christ. This love language is an intense form of that need to serve. I have a friend who is constantly cleaning, writing sweet notes, taking time to teach someone something, reading to a sick child, being a peacemaker, or helping someone with something.
However, to love someone in this way, you must die to your personal wants and selfish ambitions. That is the hard part. But those whose language is acts of service need you to serve them. Doing a chore for someone unasked may be a wonderful opportunity to love.

4. Gift-Giving
This language could easily be seen as a more fleshly desire. It may seem selfish. But let's look at it from God's point of view. He too gives gifts to His children. Why? Out of His amazing love for us. I do not see anything wrong with the occasional thoughtful gift given as a sign of love, in hopes of encouraging another and aiding their spiritual growth. Some people are gifted to show love in this way. Learning to give as God gave—out of love.

5. Quality Time
All of us enjoy spending time with loved ones, and who doesn't feel treasured when you have an in-depth discussion, or fun game with your family? For some people this is their primary way of receiving and expressing love. For some it is the hardest to give, as it requires, in some ways, more of yourself than others. It is perhaps easier to hug someone than spend an hour with them, but true Christ-like love is willing to love in all ways.

As nice as it is to know what your language is, more importantly, strive to learn other's languages, and earnestly love them. Jesus perfectly loved everyone by healing, teaching, touching, caring, but most of all, by that act which we can never truly appreciate; His death is our life, and because of His love we can and must love others.

Amusing Dig at Apple

http://gprime.net/video.php/ipodflea

Subtle Hilarity in a Very Appropriate Gift (?)

http://localbrand.net/orientalist.htm
I'm sure we all know that Wendy Cheng a.k.a. Xiaxue is their endorsement model (which is kind of oddly off-colour, if you think about their tone and brand identity compared to hers). I like some of their shirts; this designer duo have a lot of sarcastic, cynical, passive-aggressive humour in their designs. Check them out and let me know how Nakedwhine can be different from them!

Anyway, it'd make a pretty interesting gift for folks working in, say, The Oriental Hotel. *snide grin*
What do you call someone who is immensely loyal/patriotic to the company he works for?

PARTY this Saturday???

www.kinemat.com

Fonder

In your absence

my senses reconstruct

our closeness

Your scent lingers

as though the air I breathe

must contain reminders of you.

Beyond the memory of

your presence

last felt

my mind makes me see

shades of you in others

and yet always I am aware of

the mockery in such perception.

Then, as I withdraw back into my

secure shell of loneliness,

self-sufficiency seems to crumble -

the aftermath of that intense intimacy floods my heart with

emptiness

A void within edged by a gentle understanding of sorrow, agony, loss

Aching.

Knowing

that the time and distance

keeping us apart only

grows the yearning -

(this irrepressible sensation

cannot be told

cannot be told)

for

another

touch.

Cool online retail: Custom Bags by Timbuk2

http://www.timbuk2.com/tb2/welcome.t2
Great concept!!!

The Classic IQ Test

What's My IQ?
"Your IQ score is 133

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others — and at anticipating and predicting patterns. "

I'm a sucker for tests & quizzes like this...hehehe.
http://web.tickle.com/tests/uiq/index-pop.jsp?sid=&supp=&z=
http://web.tickle.com/tests/uiq/compare.jsp

Most Coveted Music Albums *drool*

Gotta get these albums, gotta get these albums, gotta get these albums...*chants some more*

OUT OF NOTHING by EMBRACE (UK)...essentially, anything by Embrace would make me salivate rabidly. This kind of music gets one high man, really really high...
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002QXS92/ref=m_art_li_1/103-6366412-2531004?v=glance&s=music


X&Y by COLDPLAY...owning any album from Coldplay will probably make me grin stupidly...
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/artist/glance/-/207300/ref=m_art_dp/103-6366412-2531004

HOPES & FEARS by KEANE...let's hope their next album doesn't disappoint, seriously...
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000268QB2/ref=pd_art_sim_m_6/103-6366412-2531004?v=glance&s=music

Okay, I'm just addicted to Brit Rock.

Plus this one...can you believe this fellow is only 17???!! A burning HOT Prodigy; good looks, good voice, songwriting, singing, playing multiple instruments...he's proof that God is unfair!!!

BEFORE I SPEAK by KYLE RIABKO
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0007R085I/ref=ase_accuradio/103-6366412-2531004?v=glance&s=music
.
.
.

BUT I AM BROKE!!! *whines miserably**SOB*

MARKETING WEEKLY, 13 July 2005

UOB shortlists prospective agencies
By Debbie Cai

Singapore - United Overseas Bank Limited (UOB) has shortlisted BBDO and Saatchi & Saatchi to join incumbent DDB in the pitch process for its regional creative business. The two shortlisted agencies trumped Euro RSCG and The Alchemy Partnership during the recently concluded first phase of the review, which involved a credentials presentation. The winning agency is expected to be announced in August.

“We are delighted -- the work has just begun, there’re a lot of challenges and it’s an exciting opportunity for BBDO Singapore,” said Seshadri Sampath, CEO of said agency. “We have the talent, local knowledge and relevant experience, and we want to leverage this across all the target markets of Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand.”

Simone Bartley, CEO, Saatchi & Saatchi told Marketing Weekly that the UOB business is one that the agency had been “actively courting for some time”. She added that Saatchi’s category experience “runs deep”, and “with our fully integrated model, I’m convinced we would have a successful business partnership.”

UOB’s media business is currently handled by Universal McCann. The bank again declined to comment.

Alchemy gets stab at UOB review

By Debbie Cai

Singapore - Marketing Weekly has learnt that six-month-old start-up The Alchemy Partnership was involved in the recently concluded first phase of United Overseas Bank’s (UOB) creative review in Singapore. Other shops that presented their credentials are believed to be BBDO, Saatchi & Saatchi and Euro RSCG. The incumbent DDB was not required to present.

“We are flattered that an iconic bank such as UOB should even look at The Alchemy Partnership -- it’s the sort of opportunity that hungry and ambitious start-ups -- with the right credentials -- need more of,” said Michael Liew, Executive Partner and COO at The Alchemy Partnership. Liew attributed this to the agency’s “progress with current clients in a short span of time” and the fact that its operating partners have worked on “practically every prominent financial brand here, local or foreign”.

Liew added that Alchemy was “hopeful” to have made “enough of an impression” on the client to get into the actual pitch process in the next round. The agency has plans to form an alliance with the Lowe Group if selected for the next round so as to be “operationally ready to take on regional, in-market account handling responsibilities, if required,” according to Liew.

“If we get to the pitch, we’ll give it our best shot and then some; if we don’t, it’s OK -- after all, we are the underdogs given the established international names that were also invited,” said Liew.

UOB declined to comment.

HJ's Up Close & Personal with NEIL GAIMAN

collage2-neil-web
Originally uploaded by kinetic-crisis.

That awesomely, incredibly, extremely lucky bitch! *LOL*

Keeps Me Sane @ My Lousy Job

www.accuradio.com

Dreams + A Man of Great Importance

My dreams have been incoherent and often disturbing these months. Recently I dreamt of being cut open in a surgery room without anaesthesia, which was quite horrific in itself as I watched in horror, shrieking, as the sick surgeon (who had some Andrew Lloyd Webber song playing in the surgery room, most likely from Phantom of the Opera) prepared to slit me open with the scalpel. I have also dreamt of being tortured, slashed all over with minute knife wounds, strangled, tied up, beaten up...And I have no idea why I'm having these dreams. I must have a dangerously tormented subconscious.

Another disturbing dream where I did not play some sort of lead role was where my cat fell apart. I love Meemee to bits, but to dream of her legs falling off due to some degenerative disease was heartbreaking.

It would be easy to disregard all my dreams as mere nonsense. (I even remember a period when I had amazingly adventure-filled dreams, where I played hero/heroine and took part in all sorts of action-packed dramas, including espionage thrillers, ninja intrigue/wars, rescue missions, monster-killing...*lol* my subconscious must have been rebelling against my mundane/boring life!!!) But circumstances have a way of disarming or unnerving you when you least expect it, you know?

I remember waking up from a relatively serene dream with a clear and distinct message: That I would meet someone of great importance to me, who would make a huge difference in my life, and that this person would be named either "Christopher" or "Michael". This dream stood out from all the rest because I awoke feeling at peace, calm. And faintly amused. I guess the skeptic in me was chuckling.

Well, I met someone less than a month ago, and now we're in love. (He'd be rather happy to read this, I tell you, because I have never been able to tell him how much I feel about and care for him.)

The question remains: whether this is just a wierd coincidence, or some eerie twist of fate? You tell me, my friends. Do our dreams foretell the future?

His name is Daniel Christopher Tolentino.

(Okay, skeptics, go ahead and guffaw.)

Rooftop Party!!! *Woot*

http://www.heinekenmusic.com.sg/#null

Working Versus Striving

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
by Os Hillman

So he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty."
~ Zechariah 4:6

Your greatest obstacle in fulfilling God's purposes in your life is the skills you have acquired to perform well in your work life. One of the great paradoxes in Scripture relates to our need to depend on the Lord; yet at the same time, we're instructed to use the talents and abilities God gives us to accomplish the work He gives us to do. It has been one of the most difficult principles to live out. How do we know that what we achieve is by the power of the Holy Spirit in our life versus our own abilities, and is there a difference?

When we reach a level of excellence and performance in our fields, it actually becomes an obstacle to seeing God's power manifest in our work. What we naturally do well becomes the object of our trust. When this happens, God retreats. You see, God allows us to develop skills, but these must be continually yielded to God's Spirit. There will be times when God will use these skills to accomplish His purposes. There will be other times that God will not use any of our skills just to ensure that we know it is by His power that we can do anything.

It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons for Christian workplace believers. Learning not to act until God shows you to act is a sign of maturity in God. "Do not lean on the natural skill which you have been given. Let God manifest Himself in what you are doing," said a mentor who has learned this balance of skill and walking with God. "You must almost restrain from doing those things you know you are prone to do and actually go against them."

I was learning this lesson recently when I was asked to participate in a large event that would give great exposure and much needed financial increase to my ministry. It made all the sense in the world to participate. Then I prayed with a friend and asked the Lord His mind on it. The Lord showed us this was not His plan for me. I declined the invitation.

Ask God to teach you what it means to walk according to the power of the Holy Spirit in your business life. Develop a listening ear to the small voice inside that wants to direct your efforts by His Spirit.

a mediocre confession...let the cynics cringe in agony!

Mortality be our doom.
If life does end, and we
lie as carcasses
consumed by the scavengers
Let not the vultures eat
my memory of you.

Anger be our folly.
If strife does destroy this bond,
and my bitterness sour
the pure state of our unity
Let not my hatred taint
my memory of you.

Intellect be my sword, double-edged.
If my mind is lost in the wilderness of reality
and temperance scattered in the storms of mere perception
Let not my madness undo
my memory of you.

Passion be your game, perhaps.
If all the stakes are played to loss,
every dealing hand seeing no hope of redemption -
a futile gamble in volatile circumstances
Let not the heartbreak shatter
my memory of you.

Change is our constant.
Even as I turn blind to the joys and tragedies
that the future may present
I pray for a singular vision of truth.
That in your deepest core
these mere words lie in your memory of me.

Hong Kong Night Scenery from The Peak 

DC

This time, I don't even know
what to think.

Perhaps, just perhaps,
I have to acknowledge that it's His doing.

I'll have to stop struggling and cease this
tiresome adversarial standstill
with my pathetic broken heart.

My mind wrestles with the concept
of a resolution

The past
Future
Now

Fear
Doubts
Pain
Desire...

And that sweet duplicity of Defeat.

My Thoughts this fortnight, Listed.

In no particular order:

1. London as a place to live in and work in
2. Hong Kong as a place to work
3. Australia as a place to run away to
4. Pride: What I Really Want to Do VERSUS Integrity: Proving that I Can Do What They Want
5. Lust, Betrayal, Infidelity, Carpe Diem, Passion VERSUS Trust, Truth, Faith, Loyalty, Morality, Mundanity
6. Why do Gemini people cause me so much misery? Or is it just a freakish coincidence?
7. Escape
8. The original/unique self/identity/persona VERSUS the perceived/expected self/identity/persona
9. The Mind VERSUS The Body VERSUS The Soul
10. Switzerland as a place to be born again in
11. Why do Singaporeans hate themselves as a country? Are we just ugly people?
12. Confirmity/Being Homogenous VERSUS Difference/Risk/Rejection/Being Alone
13. Fear
14. God
15. The Heart
16. Being Alive, Living a good/meaningful/fulfilled life, Existing
17. Consciousness/Awareness
18. Feeling
19. Negative Emotions VERSUS Rationalisation
20. The Pursuit of Pleasure, Happiness, Balance

Does all that mean my brain is in overdrive, that I THINK TOO BLOODY MUCH?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Looks like the answer is YES.

I Am My Own Greatest Enemy

Everything begins to fade to grey, beyond what can be seen and heard and touched and tasted. As though the meaning in life and in being alive can actually be bleached away, like a simple chemical reaction.

Certain thoughts strike my consciousness suddenly, their sporadic impulse to surface completely outside my jurisdiction. If even I cannot control my own thoughts, then I must indeed be losing my sense of self, or giving in to a subconscious that is threatening to kill me.

Looking back at some stuff I wrote before, I realise that I have once again returned to a damned spot (or perhaps I have never really left it!) And that I am my own captor. How does one break free from oneself?

************

CLAUSTROPHOBIA

I am trapped.
Threading on dust, despair weighing heavy on my back.
The world is closing in on me.
What once were my hopes, the bright vision of my dreams, my future
Those mental images have begun to die
As though I look through a stained screen at them, helpless as they fade.
I will never understand why part of my heart trembles to know how I am falling,
And yet part of me sees with all rationality the righteousness in conformity.
I have walked, trying to take my mind off these troubled thoughts
Of escape, of completely leaving all that I have done these 3 years, more.
As though part of me will never find fulfillment, never find satisfaction in my own deeds.

Why this awareness, this wretched form of rumination?
I will never understand how
I stand in my own way to happiness, to joy
That strange light and darkness that seduces, eludes, and forever enchants
In a spell that cannot be broken
And thus my entanglement tightens, and the depression
Rises and falls in a cycle that bewails its own fate even as
Somewhere within the masochist moans in pleasure…

Vertigo Attack

Am not thinking straight, and the room is spinning around unpredictably. Waves of dizziness. Brain seems to be whirling around inside my skull. Need to shut eyes, shut the moving walls out.
Sense of balance almost completely disrupted by some shit going on inside my own head, and I have no idea what it is.

Too many scattered thoughts.

Forced to listen to colleague's Cantopop ballads. Too loud, too distracting. Found mould growing on 2-day-old coffee and tea residue in cups left in office conference room over the weekend. Wondering why I am always the one washing up after others in workplaces. Possible retribution for not helping out at home. Microwaved dishwashing sponge and coffee cups in state of paranoia. Hate mould and fungus. To me these growths are like the most base, silently barbaric symbol of putrification. Simple living things, parasitic, prehistoric, impossible to escape from, spawns uncontrollably, waiting to be seen with utmost disgust. Literally looks like cancer of the physical world.

Call me a clean freak, perhaps.

The oppressive grey dankness and sheer lack of cleanliness in this workplace is really making me feel claustrophobic. Even the eerily narrow toilet has been giving us problems of late, spewing water in revolt to mere flushing and causing the drainage outlet on the floor to overflow, vomitting all manner of filth from the sewerage system of this building that looks like it's trapped in a 70's time-warp both from the outside and from within. Dingy is an understatement.

Feel disconnected from a meaningful life, and circumstances certainly feed that realisation.

Seem to be partying too hard with a bunch of folk I don't belong with, getting roped into the lives of persons I shouldn't feel emotionally connected to, knowing bits of information that only confuse my beliefs or values about relationships, love, life, and the future. Truth, youthful idealism, steadfast adherence to Christian virtues, and that basic understanding of what is right and wrong - all seem shaky now. Relativity becomes a justifiable excuse, to escape judgement, to defend behaviour in a lifestyle based on more than just double-standards and morally challenged choices.

Maybe when it all boils down to nothing, money drives economy and sex drives society. We survive on the material rewards for our probably mindless toil, sweating blood for gold, working all our hours away, and seek pleasure just as relentlessly with our fellow humankind when we can find the time to f**k each other. (What an irony, that phrase. Human beings are f**king each other up, down, in all directions wherever, whenever, however, mentally, physically, emotionally, sometimes even spiritually. We have an amazing capacity for being cruel to our own species, do we not? And yet we cannot bear being left alone, for fear of ourselves. So if we do not seek to destroy each other, we will plunge straight into the pit of self-destruction. Yes? Or perhaps I am being way too cynical, underestimating the "milk of human kindness".)

And life passes thus, day by day. Maybe there is nothing else worth living for? Only Carpe Diem, only in the transcient now?

What if one day you are left alone, and looking into yourself being alive, you find nothing more than an automaton, a living robot controlled by the society you live in?

......

I had a major epiphany one morning, rushing into the pathetically vintage building that houses my office. It was as though God had suddenly pressed His finger down on my head, striking my mind with that searing realisation that made my heart stop for a moment.

I have to give this up. I have to QUIT all this and GO. ESCAPE.

And in the end, I repressed that panic-inducing urge and made a conscious choice in an opposite direction: that I would stay for another 6 months to prove myself here, to achieve the results that were expected of me.

Am I a complete fool? Or have I gotten too used to the utterly pathetic habit of denying myself what I want in times of burning desire?

At this point in time I am unable to contemplate the clear answer to this question, probably because the increasing workload and sheer mundanity of this job, nearly completely against the grain of my personal interests, have slowly and surely constructed a veneer of numbness over this time I've spent here. I am tormented, yes, occasionally bursting with frustrated anger, yes, but the numbness acts as a shield preventing it all from raging uncontrolled.

......

A gathering of classmates/school-friends some weeks ago led to a lengthy, humourous, bullshit-filled discussion on sex lives, virginity, and promiscuity. All of a sudden my peers were divulging their preferences (These were mostly guy comments, note: "If you've never had a virgin before, stick to non-virgins, trust me on that." "I'd f**k a guy if I felt he was the right one. A threesome is fine with me as long as it's a hot guy. The girl can watch." "Pulse-optional, man!" "The word Celibacy should be removed from the English Dictionary!") and though I played along to the general discussion, I cannot deny my amazement at the parallels between what they were talking about (they apparently indulged in debauchery, but let's give that the benefit of the doubt for now.) and what I was actually seeing in my older friends' lives.

The vicious cycle churning us inexorably, replicas all, in this societal machine? Yes.
Does being alive entail being somehow drilled into living as pleasure-seeking slaves to an undeniable, rampant urge to f**k each other? Perhaps.

Somehow all these thoughts make me feel less human, and yet I realise my own weaknesses, my ignorance. My idealism, that stuff of dreams that supposedly gives our lives true meaning, seems tainted with a naivete that is now bleeding into cynicism.

Impossible Tasks

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
by Os Hillman

But He answered, "You give them something to eat." ~ Mark 6:37a

Has anyone ever asked you to do something that seems totally ridiculous? The very suggestion of their instruction may have brought laughter or even anger for proposing the idea.

I imagine that the disciples may have felt this way when Jesus responded with this comment when they asked him how they were going to feed the 5000, who had stayed around to hear him speak. The disciples suggested a logical answer to the problem, "Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat" (Mk 6:36).

That wasn't the answer Jesus wanted. He saw the need of the people. He had compassion on them. He wanted to solve the problem with a Kingdom response, not logic. He asked them what they had in their hand.

So often what we already have in our hand is what Jesus wants us to use to solve our problems. We must add faith to what we already have in our hand. Then we will see the gospel of the Kingdom manifested to solve problems in a supernatural way. Jesus wanted to meet a need in which God would receive the glory. Sending the people away did not meet the need, nor did it bring glory to the Father.

Do not settle for the gospel of salvation only. Jesus came that we might experience the gospel of the Kingdom in its fullest sense. Our job is to look past our logical reasoning and see how God might want to solve our problem in a supernatural way.

Another night of Insanity & Revelry

Lost myself in the music. Was utterly drunk on the rhythms and moving my body madly madly madly to absorb and reflect the sound waves.

Seduction can be so easy. I don't have those restraint mechanisms built into me, prickling my self-consciousness, making me embarrassed, preventing me from enjoying the joy of the moment. In these moments, I throw aside that demon of repression. The limbs flow of their own accord, and the spirit can savour this exhilarating height of physical freedom, if only for a few minutes...until the mesmerisation of the song that completely envelops this crowd, pumping high-octane energy into frenzied bodies, fades into the buzzing silence of the humid night. Then the ears begin to ring.

It would have been pure fun had we felt safe. But we did not. My mind watched and sounded alarm bells every time one of them moved too close for comfort, demanding intimacy, lusting for unwarranted closeness. Beware the wolves in sheeps' clothing. Get away. Be on your guard.

My smile can freeze on my face and you can think or assume that I condone your actions. I may laugh it off but I will not forget your transgressions, even if I keep an open mind. There is a limit to my tolerance level for such jest. But how do I tell you that without you taking it as just another f**king joke?!

I regret placing my friend in such risk, regret trusting too freely in the integrity of persons too unfamiliar. Gentlemen or Bastards? It is all grey, grey, grey.

Never again. The game is over.

All these little incidents sour the gorgeous experience, waste the purity of the play. The night was dead even before it began being alive.

Alas for the intensity of life.

Another Salad Recipe! (of my own invention ;P)

Okay, this is the first time I whipped up a salad from scratch, without relying on dressing-from-the-bottle. Give it a try and see if you get the runs...*evil laughter*
Heh, will let you know if I can manage to poison myself this time...

Anyway...

Ingredients for Salad (makes for 1 big-eater or 2 decent servings):

• Cherry Tomatoes (one box, which makes about 2 cups, I think)
• 1 Veal Bratwurst (as in one fat German sausage, otherwise canned cocktail sausages should be fine, though probably much saltier. You may want to use picnic ham, or maybe broiled chicken breast...vegans can use tofu...it really depends on what you think will work and what you like.)
• One Small Apple (get the super crunchy kind)
• Sweet Corn Kernals (about one to 2 cups depending on your appetite. I like Wattie's Super Sweet, the frozen kind)
• Cashews/Walnuts/Sunflower Seeds (these are optional, but about half a cup will perfect the salad, absolutely.)

Ingredients for Dressing:

• 1 Orange
• 5 teaspoons vinegar (erm, I used white vinegar, though I think apple cider vinegar should taste better)
• Pinch of salt
• Pinch of sugar
• Pinch of pepper
• Soft Cheese (I used one segment of The Laughing Cow Cheese, though I think Philly would do as well)

For the Salad:

Chop Everything bigger than the Corn Kernals into similar bite-sized chunks. (If you really want to measure the chunks, they should range from 1 to 2 cm square. As in small enough to fit comfortably inside your mouth. Whatever the size of your mouth...errr...what nonsense am I going into???)

To prevent the Apple Chunks from going brown, give them a salt-water dip. (Just a generous pinch of salt dissolved in a bowl of water.) I know, it kills the vitamins and all, but oxidised apple pieces are kind of unsightly in your dish. Unless, of course, you like oxidised apple.

Because the Veal Bratwurst and Corn Kernals were frozen food, I had to defrost and cook them beforehand. And because I didn't plan this whole recipe beforehand, (rather, it just struck me when I was, erm, in the shower/loo) I had no time to wait for them to cool down. So after I removed them from the microwave (awww, what a convenience, ain't it?), all hot and steamy, I dunked them into icy water to immediately cool them down. Which may be cheating or unhealthy, I'm not sure. But it sure hurts your fingers. (Yeeaaahhhooowwwccchhh!!!) So be careful if you like using your hands to do stuff like mixing food in the kitchen. (Nice clean hands, of course...please don't like pick your nose beforehand and not wash up before cooking. o_O)

The point is, try not to mix the very hot food and the cool food together immediately. If you dunk all the hot and steamy sausage and corn bits into the nice and cool cherry tomato and apple mix, you'll end up cooking the nice crunchy tomatoes and apple bits, and they'll end up kinda disappointing in the end. (I'm not sure about you, but I like crunchy bits in my salad. If you prefer a softer chewing experience, feel free to cook everything beforehand. Or mix hot and cold, or whatever.)

When Everything is about the same temperature, toss them all together. They'll look really nice mixed up.

For the Dressing:

Cut up the orange and squeeze all the juice out into a bowl, then tear up the remaining pulp and dump it all in too. (You may not want the pulp in, but I like the additional fibre.)

Mix in the vinegar, salt, sugar, pepper, and cheese. Stir well.

Then just toss the Dressing into the Salad and do one final toss to mix everything up properly. (Because the pulpy orange bits tend to clump together, you need to mix well to make sure the dressing is evenly distributed. Otherwise it's just not fair for the poor salad bits who have no chance to get in touch with the dressing, you know?

Then refrigerate until ready to serve. Try to consume within the next, err...day? Unless it's kept in the fridge (i.e. constant cool temperature) all the time, food like this tends to go bad pretty quick. (I dumped mine in the chiller compartment overnight, though, for tomorrow's brunch.)

Add the nuts and give another toss before you chow down.

Enjoy and pray you don't get the runs! XP

Adobe to buy Macromedia for $3.4 billion

Desktop publishing specialist Adobe Systems is buying multimedia applications maker Macromedia in a $3.4 billion deal geared toward building a software powerhouse. The all-stock deal, announced Monday, is designed to create a better-stocked source of tools for building and distributing multimedia content across a range of operating systems and devices, the companies said. They also stressed that the merger will enable them to expand more rapidly into the market for audio and video applications for handhelds and other gadgets.

OOOooooOOoooOOoooohhh...*agog*

www.customcreaturetaxidermy.com

Surreal Insanity in a Karaoke Room

Okay...I am going to very slowly ease into telling this tale of hilariously horrific bonkeration. (i.e. a situation where everyone goes bonkers.)

Salute to Tiger Beer for inducing insanity in IT-industry folk (yes, my friends, group madness in ENGINEERS) who can actually attain a state of "enlightenment" which a pathetically sober little girl like me can barely comprehend, much less look.

Butt-wriggling/ass-wagging engineers waving mineral water bottles in tune to Cantopop in K-BOX, anyone? Have the whole package free of charge!!! Shut out the horror by drinking yourself senseless!

(They have revolutionised the concept of gyration forever. Trust engineers to innovate on mechanics like that.)

"In Tiger Nation, we work smart and play hard." How very true. Don't you love how advertising is a hyper-real parody of life, probably even a blatant mockery?

The most unfortunate fact: I HATE BEER.

Anyway, I digress.

I highly recommend The 1NiteStand Comedy Club at Clarke Quay to anyone who loves live bands.
http://www.the1nitestand.com/
The 5 piece (or is it 6?) band that plays in this comedy club - they are AWESOME! The male lead singer (tall, showy guy with a very long mane tied into a sexy horsetail, shampoo-ad material) manages to sound like Enrique Iglesias, Eric Clapton, Ricky Martin, and more rolled into one effortless voice. And the female lead singer sounds like Shakira! Everything they gave us sounded so good.

Too bad we left before they brought the house onto the dance floor.
The crowd has just so...dank and uninspired. Dressed to impress but standing around nervously clutching their drinks, networking (okay, that's a dangerous action I too am guilty of)...

I think I saw a whole lot of long-haired babes dressed in glittery little bare-back tops, just looking on - is that like party-dress code? Or is it a uniform that attracts the ang-mohs?

Maybe Singaporeans just need to get bloody pissed drunk (or pop some pills) before they can throw away their inhibitions and just go dance. We're not comfortable enough in our own skins to physically salute the glorious rhythms of beautiful music.

Maybe the dance floor was too brightly lit. Took a whole lot of guts for the 4 of us (freshly networked and acquainted) to get out there and do a little boogie (it was fun though). It got rather embarrassing after a while since no one else from that frozen, stagnant crowd joined in. As though we were being exhibitionists. Sad sad sad. Imagine being stared at by a large roomful of cold, impassive people, while you're trying to initiate a fun group activity. *shudder* So much for courage and wanting to have fun dancing to awesome music. In the end the pressure to just slink back into the darkness was way too great. Join the crowd! Conform!!!

Maybe everyone was just so tired, you know? The hot and humid weather and work, work, work just saps all the perk and energy out of us. After a long day you just wanna sit down and chill out, a long cool dame in your hand. Yeah right.

Urgh.

Anyway, proceeded to K-Box at Cineleisure with someone who now claims brotherhood status with me. (My eyebrow is raised.) Perhaps I have not met that many people in my short life so far, but I have never met someone who induces murderous tendencies while cracking dirty jokes. (I was a captive audience, really!) Are Singaporean Engineers (married or otherwise) that sexually deprived that they have to insert sexual innuendo into every other line they spout?

Okay, I can laugh it off, but before long it was beginning to look like he (and later his colleague too) was/were taking every opportunity to make bawdy remarks targetted at me. Tiger-beer-induced sexual passes, anyone? Invitations to lap-dances and one-night stands? (Actually, on hindsight, it was hilarious. If only I were gay and male. It would have been such a turn-on. Unfortunately, I am female and not straight enough. Geez of all the bad luck in the world...)

Do I look like a sex object?! Don't the spectacles fend them off?! I'm not sure whether to be more flattered or just disgusted. Time to stay home and lock the doors...Morph into Miss Prudent Paranoid Prig!!!

Okay...so far, sober me continuously fell prey to tainted jokes. On a light-hearted note, it was much like Whose Line Is it Anyway, starring a trio of horny Engineers whose victim dearly regretted not being underage. (Can I still sue?)

The climax (yeah yeah yeah the word is tinted with such sexual innuendo, ain't it?) of the night came, of course, with the
Mass Gyration Dance With Mineral Water Bottles, Performed by Engineers.

And here's my performance review:

It was a technically simplistic performance riddled with multiple meanings. Although apparently an expression of alcohol-induced gaiety, it harkened to a regression to the carefree days of childhood, where everything can be made into a toy. The overtones, however, were of a remarkably explosive reaction to the stresses of everyday life and a mundane existence in a sexually deprived society. Despite the inconsistencies in the relative physical flexibility(or inflexibility) in individual performers, the dance ended on a high note and led to more optimistic imbibing of Tiger, which must be credited for its contribution to this dance event.

The reviewer sums it up with 2 words: Traumatic Experience. The word "Extremely" is optional but recommended.

Alright, alright, enough with my uptight whinging.

I shouldn't be such a bloody prude. Overall it was a heck of a lot of fun and I provided a bucketload (or 2) of entertainment (unintended and embarrassing on my part, mostly) to a bunch of people I barely knew. Hmmmm. If I cannot get anywhere in life where I want to, I may just go become a clown. Cirque Du Soleil!!!

Now I've unwittingly earned myself a "brother" (married with 2 sons too). Bother! What do I do with him?! Chivalry may be his only redeeming trait...the rest, unspeakable. (Oh...how harsh of me! *evil sarcastic laughter*)

Concluding Question: Do men who want to be close to women they cannot have convert themselves into "brothers" of said women as a tactic of furthering intimacy?

Argh.

THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY!!!

Arguably the best fantasy/sci-fi books I have ever read in my life are being made into movies...
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy & The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Quintology
LOTR was probably the most amazing movie experience ever.
We'll see how Hitchhikers fares. Looking good though, so far.

Marvin is so darn cute!!! Gotta get me one of those...though he does resemble one of those hypnotic head-waving, colourful, light-powered lil' smiley dude table ornaments you find in toy stores...you know, the ones from Japan that claim to be able to keep you calm and happy with the lil' round-headed dude's rhythmic nodding...urgh. They cost like $19.90 to $29.90?
Basically an overly expensive animated dust-collector..unless maybe you hang rubber bands on it. They should make it into an insect repellent, at the very least...have some function other than nodding or waving it's head lamely.

(Imagine! Nod - mosquitoes drop dead - nod - cockroaches konk out - nod - flies decimated - nod - termites commit mass suicide...kewl!!!)

If they did model Marvin after those thingies, it'd be SUCH an appropriate irony!!! *guffaw*

Check out the offical movie sites! Note Marvin's groaning and commentary!
http://hitchhikers.movies.go.com/
http://www.thefilmfactory.co.uk/hitchhikers/global/index.html

And pay worshipful tribute to the Genius of Douglas Adams!!!
http://www.douglasadams.com/

And the awesome legacy of Jim Henson:
http://www.henson.com/

There are probably multitudes of LOTR websites out there, but have you heard that Canadians are gonna bring LOTR onto the stage? LOTR as a musical...imagine that. (Brain shudders)
http://lotr.dynalias.com/main.html

Anyway, I still like the official movie site:
http://www.lordoftherings.net/

http://www.theonering.net/index.shtml is really worth exploring too.

Also check out Sir Ian Mckellen's blog! Listen to the man's voice! Makes my gut do a happy wriggle. (Okay, bad expression!!!) Xp
http://www.mckellen.com/

In comparison, fans have made Sir Ian Holm a fancier site!
http://www.ianholm.homestead.com/fan_page.html

And Christopher Lee's career makes being a multilinguist more than just cool:
http://christopherleeweb.com/index.php

Hey, why all the old guys? *lol* Oh well, I like old people.

Love the design on this site! Blanchett is Gorgeous!!!
http://www.cateblanchett.net/

And of course, the bombshell that is ORLANDO BLOOM:
http://www.theofficialorlandobloomsite.com/index.php
http://www.theorlandobloomfiles.com/

Plus the uber-multi-talented Viggo Mortensen (he doesn't seem to have an official website though - most of the younger stars probably don't, I guess.)
http://www.frostyland.com/Viggo/viggo.index.shtml
http://specialrealms.com/VM/sitenews.html

More later...:D

Four Attributes of a Life God Blesses

Friday, April 15, 2005
by Os Hillman

So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed." ~ Isaiah 28:16

Whenever God calls us into a consecrated life, it is made up of four distinct stages. Christ often compared this process to building a house. First, we must prepare to build by laying a foundation. That foundation is none other than Jesus Christ Himself. Any foundation other than Christ will not stand.

Second, as we enter a walk of faith with God, He allows each of us to experience trials, testings, miracles, and challenges in life that are designed to provide "faith experiences" that demonstrate tangible evidences of His work in our life: Moses' burning-bush experience, Peter's walk on the water, Joshua's parting of the Jordan River.

These experiences built the faith of these people. The depth and width of our calling is directly proportional to the faith experiences He allows in each of our lives. If God plans an international ministry with you, chances are you will experience a higher degree of faith experiences compared to another. The reason being, you will need to look on these to ensure your calling and provide testimony to His work in your life.

The third stage deals with motives. "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord" (Prov. 16:2). What is the motive behind my actions? Is it only financial accumulation? Is it to gain control? Is it to create independence? The primary motive must be God's leading you to take such an action - it must be obedience. These other factors must be by-products of the decision.

Finally, we are prepared to take action. Here we must ask, "Do we have the skill, quality, and ability to enter into this activity?" So often we have not trained ourselves adequately to be successful in our endeavor. You would never want someone working on your teeth who had not been trained and certified as a dentist.

Before you begin your next project, ask yourself these four questions. What is the foundation this project is based on? What experiences has God demonstrated in my life that indicate His involvement? What is my motive for entering this activity? Do I have the skill, quality, and ability to accomplish the task? Answering these questions will tell you whether God will bless your activity.

MARKETING WEEKLY, 6 APRIL 2005

Hyundai appoints start-up to million-dollar business
By Debbie Cai

Singapore - Komoco Motors-distributed marque brand Hyundai has appointed recently-formed The Alchemy Partnership as its brand communications agency after a presentation of agency credentials. Alchemy will take on responsibility for the client’s million-dollar Singapore creative and media assignments.

“We are encouraged by the win and it’s a good start for us -- the winning feeling is what going into business on your own is all about,” Christopher Foo, Managing Partner and CEO, The Alchemy Partnership told Marketing Weekly. Foo attributed his agency’s success to the “shrewdness” of Komoco Motors MD Teo Hock Seng, “who felt that our track record in the automotive category would significantly contribute to fulfilling his targets.”

Alchemy staff have, between them, past experience working on automotive brands such as BMW, Mercedes Benz, Proton Saga and Land Rover.
Hyundai spent about $4 million in marketing communications activities last year, selling close to 14,000 cars and achieving second place in market share behind Singapore leader Toyota.

Thought Puking

This is a cry for help.
It was not the first time she ran away from home or threatened to abandon everything in this wretched life and seek her own demise. She has never stopped being pessimistic and assuming the worst of such situations; that she was being polarised, blamed, discarded, sabotaged, and even abused. Yes, we took her for granted. We cannot avoid the blame; we must point accusatory fingers at ourselves.
The problem had been ballooning all the time; we just never knew how to deal with it or face it. We covered it up with a sheer and shallow belief that things will blow over and that all these issues are small, unrelated complications that will fade in time from our memories. That such unhappiness can be ignored and will go away after being neglected for a while.
It's becoming a pattern, like some chronic disease, like epilepsy. An attack shakes us up, makes us panic, but when it is over we deliberately erase it from our consciousness. And then slowly, the disease develops it's own character, it's own complications, begins to have a destructive spirit that hides behind the facade of our comfortable lives, grinning, planning it's next move.
Perhaps my paranoia feeds this threat of destruction, offers it a gift of emotional weakness that only makes a mockery of my concern, my guilt, my deep-seated helplessness. Men do not feel like this, do they? They just do not have this vein of insecurity within them. They prefer to dismiss the whole event, as though hushing the whines of an irritating child throwing a random temper tantrum.
But she is no child, and the problem is no random event. Do we wait for the hurricane at the end of this Butterfly Effect, wait for the bomb to explode one day and shatter us all? Or am I simply exaggerating this entirety in my own overwrought mind, letting it corrode my sensibilities?
I do not know. Only the helplessness grows. Without them there will be nothing left, and already the emptiness is like an open sore that gnaws the heart, a beast that knows no limits to its hunger.
God help us.

Gillian & Carol at my lingerie photoshoot: Make-up by Sarah, Location@Royal Peacock Hotel