Lost myself in the music. Was utterly drunk on the rhythms and moving my body madly madly madly to absorb and reflect the sound waves.
Seduction can be so easy. I don't have those restraint mechanisms built into me, prickling my self-consciousness, making me embarrassed, preventing me from enjoying the joy of the moment. In these moments, I throw aside that demon of repression. The limbs flow of their own accord, and the spirit can savour this exhilarating height of physical freedom, if only for a few minutes...until the mesmerisation of the song that completely envelops this crowd, pumping high-octane energy into frenzied bodies, fades into the buzzing silence of the humid night. Then the ears begin to ring.
It would have been pure fun had we felt safe. But we did not. My mind watched and sounded alarm bells every time one of them moved too close for comfort, demanding intimacy, lusting for unwarranted closeness. Beware the wolves in sheeps' clothing. Get away. Be on your guard.
My smile can freeze on my face and you can think or assume that I condone your actions. I may laugh it off but I will not forget your transgressions, even if I keep an open mind. There is a limit to my tolerance level for such jest. But how do I tell you that without you taking it as just another f**king joke?!
I regret placing my friend in such risk, regret trusting too freely in the integrity of persons too unfamiliar. Gentlemen or Bastards? It is all grey, grey, grey.
Never again. The game is over.
All these little incidents sour the gorgeous experience, waste the purity of the play. The night was dead even before it began being alive.
Alas for the intensity of life.
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