Surreal Insanity in a Karaoke Room

Okay...I am going to very slowly ease into telling this tale of hilariously horrific bonkeration. (i.e. a situation where everyone goes bonkers.)

Salute to Tiger Beer for inducing insanity in IT-industry folk (yes, my friends, group madness in ENGINEERS) who can actually attain a state of "enlightenment" which a pathetically sober little girl like me can barely comprehend, much less look.

Butt-wriggling/ass-wagging engineers waving mineral water bottles in tune to Cantopop in K-BOX, anyone? Have the whole package free of charge!!! Shut out the horror by drinking yourself senseless!

(They have revolutionised the concept of gyration forever. Trust engineers to innovate on mechanics like that.)

"In Tiger Nation, we work smart and play hard." How very true. Don't you love how advertising is a hyper-real parody of life, probably even a blatant mockery?

The most unfortunate fact: I HATE BEER.

Anyway, I digress.

I highly recommend The 1NiteStand Comedy Club at Clarke Quay to anyone who loves live bands.
http://www.the1nitestand.com/
The 5 piece (or is it 6?) band that plays in this comedy club - they are AWESOME! The male lead singer (tall, showy guy with a very long mane tied into a sexy horsetail, shampoo-ad material) manages to sound like Enrique Iglesias, Eric Clapton, Ricky Martin, and more rolled into one effortless voice. And the female lead singer sounds like Shakira! Everything they gave us sounded so good.

Too bad we left before they brought the house onto the dance floor.
The crowd has just so...dank and uninspired. Dressed to impress but standing around nervously clutching their drinks, networking (okay, that's a dangerous action I too am guilty of)...

I think I saw a whole lot of long-haired babes dressed in glittery little bare-back tops, just looking on - is that like party-dress code? Or is it a uniform that attracts the ang-mohs?

Maybe Singaporeans just need to get bloody pissed drunk (or pop some pills) before they can throw away their inhibitions and just go dance. We're not comfortable enough in our own skins to physically salute the glorious rhythms of beautiful music.

Maybe the dance floor was too brightly lit. Took a whole lot of guts for the 4 of us (freshly networked and acquainted) to get out there and do a little boogie (it was fun though). It got rather embarrassing after a while since no one else from that frozen, stagnant crowd joined in. As though we were being exhibitionists. Sad sad sad. Imagine being stared at by a large roomful of cold, impassive people, while you're trying to initiate a fun group activity. *shudder* So much for courage and wanting to have fun dancing to awesome music. In the end the pressure to just slink back into the darkness was way too great. Join the crowd! Conform!!!

Maybe everyone was just so tired, you know? The hot and humid weather and work, work, work just saps all the perk and energy out of us. After a long day you just wanna sit down and chill out, a long cool dame in your hand. Yeah right.

Urgh.

Anyway, proceeded to K-Box at Cineleisure with someone who now claims brotherhood status with me. (My eyebrow is raised.) Perhaps I have not met that many people in my short life so far, but I have never met someone who induces murderous tendencies while cracking dirty jokes. (I was a captive audience, really!) Are Singaporean Engineers (married or otherwise) that sexually deprived that they have to insert sexual innuendo into every other line they spout?

Okay, I can laugh it off, but before long it was beginning to look like he (and later his colleague too) was/were taking every opportunity to make bawdy remarks targetted at me. Tiger-beer-induced sexual passes, anyone? Invitations to lap-dances and one-night stands? (Actually, on hindsight, it was hilarious. If only I were gay and male. It would have been such a turn-on. Unfortunately, I am female and not straight enough. Geez of all the bad luck in the world...)

Do I look like a sex object?! Don't the spectacles fend them off?! I'm not sure whether to be more flattered or just disgusted. Time to stay home and lock the doors...Morph into Miss Prudent Paranoid Prig!!!

Okay...so far, sober me continuously fell prey to tainted jokes. On a light-hearted note, it was much like Whose Line Is it Anyway, starring a trio of horny Engineers whose victim dearly regretted not being underage. (Can I still sue?)

The climax (yeah yeah yeah the word is tinted with such sexual innuendo, ain't it?) of the night came, of course, with the
Mass Gyration Dance With Mineral Water Bottles, Performed by Engineers.

And here's my performance review:

It was a technically simplistic performance riddled with multiple meanings. Although apparently an expression of alcohol-induced gaiety, it harkened to a regression to the carefree days of childhood, where everything can be made into a toy. The overtones, however, were of a remarkably explosive reaction to the stresses of everyday life and a mundane existence in a sexually deprived society. Despite the inconsistencies in the relative physical flexibility(or inflexibility) in individual performers, the dance ended on a high note and led to more optimistic imbibing of Tiger, which must be credited for its contribution to this dance event.

The reviewer sums it up with 2 words: Traumatic Experience. The word "Extremely" is optional but recommended.

Alright, alright, enough with my uptight whinging.

I shouldn't be such a bloody prude. Overall it was a heck of a lot of fun and I provided a bucketload (or 2) of entertainment (unintended and embarrassing on my part, mostly) to a bunch of people I barely knew. Hmmmm. If I cannot get anywhere in life where I want to, I may just go become a clown. Cirque Du Soleil!!!

Now I've unwittingly earned myself a "brother" (married with 2 sons too). Bother! What do I do with him?! Chivalry may be his only redeeming trait...the rest, unspeakable. (Oh...how harsh of me! *evil sarcastic laughter*)

Concluding Question: Do men who want to be close to women they cannot have convert themselves into "brothers" of said women as a tactic of furthering intimacy?

Argh.