Mindless Blathering Idiocy

Sometimes we cannot over-estimate the intimacy of understanding with people...it takes a while to get on the same wavelength, even longer to figure out a person's nature, personality, and sense of humour.

And that also applies to forgiveness. Often we can never tell how willing a person can be to forgive a wrong committed, or how willing he or she is to care.

Many a time when I speak before I think, it kills me to writhe internally when I spend the rest of the time afterward in agony about apologising, making amends, trying in vain to erase the error and fade the offence or insult. Has it got to do with low emotional intelligence or blatant insensitivity? Or is it a desire to cross lines, invade, and attack, an almost flippant love of risk and danger, even on an emotional level?

Then later on, if it seems to have been a whole horrible roller coaster of guilt and regret suffered for nothing, I wonder at my own neurosis and fear of rejection. Is it valid to be so self-absorbed?

Ah what foolishness, then. Does this make me lovable at all?

Oh bother.